Wednesday, September 8, 2010

School Days

Jake started Kindergarten. I’m not quite sure how we got to this point. After all, wasn’t he born yesterday? 

First thing Jake said when he woke up was “Mommy, we start school today!” He has been excited for weeks. I, on the other hand, have felt so many different emotions: excitement, fear, eagerness, nostalgia, self-doubt, anxiety. We are homeschooling. We’ve been planning this for years. Now that it’s here though, it’s almost surreal. It’s been fun pulling out all my old teaching supplies and setting up our “classroom.”  Then I start to think about the schooling part and realize that it’s a lot of responsibility. If he doesn’t learn something, it’s my fault. I question my ability to do this. Yes, I have a teaching degree. Yes, I have taught before. Yes, I can do this. I wonder though if he’d be better off in a regular school or if he’s missing out on the experiences. I’ve been reading The Ultimate Guide to Homeschooling by Debra Bell. In it, she says:
“Our conviction must be borne out of prayer, study of God’s Word, and godly counsel. It is imperative that we take the time we need to hear God personally. These convictions are the foundation for appropriating the faith and grace we need to complete the task.
 “Otherwise, when discouragement comes and disillusionment hit, we will dig a deeper hole by questioning if we should be doing this in the first place. Constant doubts such as Am I really the best teacher for my children? Am I cheating them out of fun and opportunities? Is this going to be worth it in the end? will wear us out.
“The writer of James said a double-minded man is unstable in all his ways. Without this bedrock of faith that God said, “Do it!” we’re in for some rough seas. Firmly rooted convictions will be the source of endurance for the course.”

I finished reading that and cried. It describe me perfectly. I had just finished voicing those same concerns to Leighton. I realized then that I actually had been doubting God by doubting myself. I know one hundred percent that I am supposed to homeschool. We, as a couple, determined years ago that it was God’s will. Who am I to question Him? He will give me the ability to do His will. I saw a sign on a church the other day that said, “God doesn’t call the qualified; He qualifies the called.”

We are using an adapted version of the Robinson Self-Teaching Curriculum. One of the advantages of homeschooling is that you have a tailor-made education. Jake can already write his letters and numbers, knows simple addition and subtraction, can read short vowel words (on own) and long vowel words (with help), and can spell aloud just about anything he can read. This child is like a sponge and loves to learn. He is constantly asking questions and trying to figure things out. He will do great homeschooling. If only I had that much confidence in his teacher.

Pancakes for breakfast

Excited to start our day
Some of our supplies
Our classroom

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1 comment:

  1. Just be sure that you aren't his date to prom! That would just devastate him in the long run.