Perspective

I went grocery shopping! 

I know . . . Boring, right?

But when you haven't done much except sit on the couch for nearly 3 months, even the mundane tasks of life seem exciting.

I've been thinking about that a lot lately actually--how your perspective can affect so much. We don't realize all the things we take for granted. You've heard the saying "You don't know what you have until it's gone"? Often we think of that statement applying to relationships and reminding us to appreciate the people in our life, but it can pertain anything. 

Like those mundane tasks.

Now that my ankle is in the process of healing and I'm able to get back to a somewhat "normal" routine again, I realize how the simple things can make me happy. I remember the excitement I felt when I walked from the couch to the kitchen. I didn't have to use my crutches! And the thrill of walking down the stairs to do laundry. Sure, it was a long process of putting both feet on each stair instead of going step-over-step, but I didn't have to scoot down on my bottom and crawl back up on my knees like a baby. I remember the day I was able to stand with the strength and ability to sweep and vacuum the house. And don't even get me started on the joy I feel every time now I get to organize an area of our home that was neglected for 3 months while we were in "survival mode."

Who knew that doing chores and simply walking whenever you want to could bring such happiness?

Too often, I think, we let insignificant things annoy us, cloud our judgment. It's easy to let little things  creep up and affect our attitude if we're not careful. I'm guilty of it, too. But, really, what good can come out of that?

A critical and unappreciative attitude robs you of your joy.

I carried a 3-ringed binder to classes with all my assignments in high school. It had a clear plastic cover that I could slide in a page on the front. Though I changed my decorative accents on the page from time to time, I always kept this quote from an 18th century French writer, Nicolas Chamfort: "The most thoroughly wasted of all days is that on which one has not laughed." (See, I was looking for Smiles all those years ago, too, ha.) It doesn't mean that you have to tell jokes or watch comedies every day, but it's a reminder to be intentional in keeping a good attitude. Negative circumstances happen all the time, but how you respond to them is what matters. The more negativity you dwell on, the less joy you find in the simple things.

I've always loved my role as a stay-at-home mom. The cooking, the cleaning, the raising of the kids--it has always been a rich, fulfilling life for me. And then we added homeschooling. And more kids. My responsibilities have multiplied. And somewhere along the way I think I lost a little of my love of caring for our home. I've gotten annoyed by the crumbs and bothered by the mess. Oh, it's not an everyday feeling, but now much more often than before it feels like housework. Chores. Responsibility. Work.

I let the busyness distract me from my joy in serving my family.

"You don't know what you have until it's gone." Yes, thankfully, my family is still here, but my ability to serve them was gone for months. It was a discouraging, helpless feeling watching everyone else take care of our home. And suddenly, I couldn't wait to sweep up those crumbs and scrub the toilets.

Perspective.

I'm still struggling with some chores around the house. What the mind says, the body doesn't always do. But as I'm listening to my body and trying to push it to strengthen the ankle (and knee, leg, and hip that also weren't used for months), I'm also trying not to push it to the point of greater injury. It's a difficult balance to find.

Every night I go to bed sore and exhausted. My body and my ankle ache. I have good days and then days when my ankle swells back up and walking is nearly impossible again. But even on those physically challenging days, I have chosen to be happy.

Life is good, for so very many reasons. And now again, I get to serve the people who bring me the greatest joy and blessings and who are part of my "many reasons."

I won't claim that the messes make me happy, but I will be thankful for what they represent. Food. Clothing. Learning. Fun. Life. Blessings.

Perspective.  

   

The Everyday Family Chore System

Curricula for the kids aren't the only products I get to review as a member of the Homeschool Review Crew. This one from Everyday Homemaking is more for me--and any parent really, not just homeschoolers. One might think that since I'm a full-time, stay-at-home mom that I have this whole thing under control. Ha. While I absolutely love being a homemaker and all that entails (even the cleaning!), I struggle like anyone else to get it all done. That's why it's important to have a system in place for accountability and structure.

I take my role as "mom" very seriously. Not only is it my responsibility to teach my little ones reading, math, and history, it's also my duty to train them in life skills, too. When it comes to working around the house, The Everyday Family Chore System makes it easy to organize the responsibilities. 

As a mother of 8 daughters and a foster mom of almost 50, Vicki Bentley has experience in raising children and teaching them what it means to be a "responsible, caring, sharing part of your family." She wrote this book to help other moms see what worked for her family and to give them the tools necessary to implement the program. The book is broken into the following sections:  

• Introduction
• Part One: Laying a Foundation
• Part Two: Implementing the Plan
• Part Three: The Actual Chore System
• Suggested Resources

In Laying a Foundation, Vicki explains the purpose of her chore system, in that it's meant to train your children to be responsible members of the family that diligently serve one another and to disciple them in life skills. She talks about having the proper expectations, establishing standards, having a working knowledge of family discipline, and showing your kids love.

"If you don't have time to do it right, you sure don't have time to do it over!" 

~ Vicki Bentley

Implementing the Plan gets down to the nitty gritty details. She includes a life skills checklist that acts as a guideline for training children. Each age from 2-teens has a list of possible skills in which you might begin to train the child to do. In parentheses after each skill is the age which the child might be able to complete the task on his own. For example, you might choose to start teaching a 3-year-old how to dust furniture, but he might not be able to properly do it on his own until age 9. Or you may train a 7-year-old to clean the bathroom, but he may not fully hone the skill until he is 12. She is very clear that this list is simply a guideline to help you, not to be followed strictly. Each child is different and has different abilities. As an example, she lists baking a cake and making pancakes starting at age 10 and being fully capable by ages 14 and 16 respectively. In our home, both of those skills are reached on their own, years before her suggested age of 10. It is a lengthy list that includes more than cooking and cleaning, as there are skills such as building a fire, filling out a job application, changing flat tires, planning a workable budget, and much more.

In this section, she also describes the plan and gives suggestions of ways to set it up. She even has many tips you can implement to help your kids succeed, like having a routine, having a place for everything, labeling, making your home child-friendly, and others.

Part three is The Actual Chore System, meaning it contains printable cards for your system. There are individual card labels that name the jobs. They include the most common family chores and then there are several empty labels so you can customize your list for your own family.

There are also How-To-Do-It Cards that correspond to the majority of the jobs and a few extras. These 3x5 cards explain step-by-step how the task should be accomplished. This ensures that the child does a thorough job and does not forget any steps. It also acts as accountability so he can't claim that he didn't know a specific portion needed to be done. Some of the cards have blank spaces so you can fill in your chosen cleaner. I laminated all of my cards for stability and chose to do so without the blanks filled in. This way, if I decide to change my cleaner, I won't need to replace the card. I simply write on the laminated card with an overhead transparency marker, or a wet-erase marker. This way, the ink is semi-permanent, but can easily be changed with a little water and cloth.  

There are many different ways you can put the system together. I chose to use a plastic pocket chart that I used during my teaching-in-the-classroom days many years ago. This was incredibly simply to use, because once I had my cards printed, cut, and laminated, all I had to do was fill the pockets. The chart can stand up on its own, or I can collapse it to hide it away. There is also a large velcro pocket in the inside that I use to store the How-To-Do-It cards that are part of the weekly jobs in the chart.

As far as the other cards, I keep those in a 3x5 card box. Those are the jobs that don't need to be completed as often. We use these tasks for various things: weekly job from box, disciplinary purposes, seasonal cleaning, ect..

"Don't put it down; put it away!" ~ Vicki Bentley

I have seen many variations of chore charts over the years, but never one quite like this. This one isn't simply a list of age-appropriate tasks and a way to organize them, but includes valuable information explaining exactly how the child should complete them. The How-To-Do-It cards make this system stand out above the rest.

My kids are doing very well with this format. It's easy to keep track of the chores for the week and helps them to see what they need to do. They especially like doing the jobs from the box and often ask if they can do extras! We'll see how long that enthusiasm for extra chores lasts, ha.

Vicki also wrote a cookbook with tried-and-true recipes that we reviewed years ago. She is currently offering 10% off the Everyday Family Chore System and Everyday Cooking with coupon code TOS10books through September 5. The code is good for both the printed and digital versions.

You can connect with Everyday Homemaking on Facebook or the website.

If you'd like to read more reviews of the chore system or check out some reviews of the cookbook, please visit the Homeschool Review Crew blog.

Wordless Wednesday 10/22/14

Wordless Wednesday 101/14

Motivated Moms

Chores.

The very word is met with groans from my little ones.

At least, it was until we were given a Motivated Moms ebook to review. Now, the kids actually ask to help clean!

Motivated Moms is a chore planning system. Housework, homeschooling, raising a family . . . it all takes time and figuring out where to start can be overwhelming. This system helps take the guess work out of what to do every day. It's as easy as checking the list, doing the work, and marking it complete.

This chore planning system was created by two women who wanted to help moms "balance creative endeavors with their desire to have an orderly an organized environment in their homes." The business started with a traditional book format and evolved to printable ebooks and apps for iPad/iPhone/iPod touch and Android.

I think the most difficult part about using this system was choosing which book I wanted. They have so many options! With differences from half-page to full page, black & white or color, page-per-day or week-per-day, with or without scheduled Bible reading, and any combination of it all, there's a format for everyone. If you're like me, you'll appreciate the option to print a sample page so you can see exactly what each choice is like. I finally settled on the weekly color planner with scheduled Bible reading. 

I've been wanted to give my little ones (8, 5, 4) more chores around the house. They already had certain tasks (putting away toys, folding/putting away laundry, emptying dishwasher, setting table), but I wanted to give them more responsibilities. I never had a schedule to clean before, so I wasn't consistent in using their abilities. This system keeps me accountable. 

I start the week by assigning chores. I highlight each child's jobs in a different color. If it's not highlighted, it's mine. There are daily chores that are completed every day of the week and then individual day chores. The kids each have a daily chore and usually one individual day chore. Some days, a child won't have any individual day chores at all.

Here is the list for today:

• Clean middle shelf of refrigerator
• Mop kitchen
• Clean/wash hairbrushes and combs
• Dust family/living room
• Clean light fixture - utility room
• Work on baby book/scrap book/photo album

Washing the hairbrushes and combs is purple, so Alyssa (5) will help me with that. Dusting the living room is Jake's (8) job, because it's yellow. Nothing is blue today, so Zac (4) only has to change the dish towel (his daily chore).

The kids have been enjoying this method so much that sometimes while I'm assigning the chores, they beg for me to pick them. Or, if one child is dusting, another one or two will join in, because "this is fun!" I expected the excitement to wear off quickly, but at 6 weeks in, they're still going strong.

There are a few things that I would do differently if I were going to design my own list. Some of the individual tasks don't apply to our family. It's not a big deal. I'm a big list maker, and if I make a list, I have to mark things off the list. For instance, no one in our house takes any prescription medications, so I wouldn't need to check them or call in refills. It's on the list one day though, and it bugs me to leave it unmarked. It makes me feel as though the day is not complete, so I cross it off. Another thing that I would change is that there are no blank spots to add chores to individual days. (There are spots for daily chores.) Sometimes, there are things that I have to do, like bake cupcakes for a party or write a review for the blog {wink}, and I would like to add them to my master list. Also, because we are at church pretty much all day on Sundays with only a couple hours at home in the afternoon, I don't do any chores in those days. The scheduled tasks for Sundays are pretty simple: filing coupons, making shopping list, planning menu. I just do them on another day.

Over all, I really like having the planner. It's helping me involve the kids more, getting them to enjoy the work, and reminding me to do things I often forget (like cleaning the tops of the kitchen cabinets). The things I would change are not enough of a problem to stop me from using it. Those are just the ways I would change it to better suit my needs. Not having to create my own rotating list for an entire year is well-worth overlooking aspects that aren't perfect in my eyes.

You can purchase an ebook for $8 and start the system right away. Or, if you prefer, you can check out the new customizable apps.

To connect more with Motivated Moms, you can follow them on Facebook and Twitter.

If you'd like to see how this system worked for other families or to read some reviews of the iOS app, click here.

Pantry Surprise 2/25/12

I had a basket or two of laundry dumped out on the living room floor, and all three kids were "helping" me fold it. Zac mostly just likes to jump and roll in the clothes, which is a pet peeve of mine. He'll stop and then play with random articles of clothing. The older two were working on socks. Jake's folded socks were more like balls instead of tubes. Alyssa does pretty well at folding most things. She loves helping me, and I love when she does. There was a day when I'd go behind and "fix" the things they had folded - wash cloths with edges that weren't lined up, shirts with sleeves that were uneven, socks that were mushed into a half-folded/half-rolled ball. I've realized though, that they are learning valuable skills. They're strengthening fine motor abilities, gaining independence, learning life skills, and building a sense of accomplishment. Those qualities are more important than having pants that are folded perfectly. 

Whether or not they help me fold the laundry, it is their responsibility to put their piles of clothes away (except for 2-year-old Zac.) If they change outfits during the day (which they love to do, especially girly-girl Alyssa), it is also up to them to fold those clothes and put them away. 

We finished folding and putting everything away and went on with our day. It wasn't until a couple hours later that I opened the pantry door. I found something I've never seen in there before. Apparently not all the clothes had been put in their proper places. Sitting in the middle of the pantry was a pair of underwear. Where's the picture, you ask? Oh, let's just say it didn't belong to any of the kids, and I didn't think it would be appropriate to plaster my unmentionables all over the internet (though it might increase my stats!) Remember I said Zac likes to play with the clothes while I'm folding them? That certain item was one that he had chosen and had apparently wandered off with them. Little Stinker. Zac that is. Ahem. 

Let's just hope that he doesn't do something like that again when we have company over, because in Jake's words, "that would just be awkward." 

You can catch up on all Pantry Surprises here.