When You Don't Want To

"There are always going to be things in your life that you have to do but don't want to do."

I can't tell you how many times in the last few weeks I've said that to my kids. The freedoms of our summer schedule have been replaced with an increase in work and responsibilities. Every time they bemoan a task, I remind them of that statement.

"You don't have to like it. But you have to do it and you have to have a good attitude."

If I didn't wash our laundry, we'd walk around in stinky clothes. If Leighton didn't go to work every day, we'd have no home and no food. There will always be things such as going to doctor appointments, paying bills, cleaning toilets, maintaining a home and vehicle, managing money, raising children and reprimanding disobedient behavior, cooking, cleaning, chores. Life is full of responsibilities. 

"You never reach a point in your life when you can do only the things you want. Never. You will always have responsibilities you don't like. It's part of living."

So as I have been reminding my children of that, I experienced my own "I don't want to!" situation. I grumbled about the injustice to Leighton while the kids were getting ready for bed. It wasn't fair and I didn't want to do it.

That's when the Holy Spirit whispered my own words back to me.

"There are always going to be things in your life that you have to do but don't want to do."

Oh. Ouch.

While I realized the reality of certain responsibilities, I failed to apply that thinking to other areas of my life. I was acting just like my children by throwing a mini fit.

But I don't want to! I don't feel like it! It's not fair. Why do I have to?

Those same selfish and juvenile traits were manifesting in my much-too-old-to-be-acting-like-a-child behavior. Then my own parenting guidance came rushing back like a slap in the face. You know, when someone puts you in your place and you get a heaviness in your chest or a pit in your stomach.

The longer I parent, the more I realize that the lessons I am trying to teach my children are ones that I need to work on, too. We could all use more kindness. More selflessness. More integrity. More hard work. More empathy. More love.

I've always been a huge believer that you determine your attitude. You cannot control your circumstances, but you can control your response to them. After all, Paul and Silas sang in prison, Job praised God even after he lost everything, and Daniel continued to show respect to the king even while surrounded by hungry lions. It wasn't that they were in pleasant situations with everything going right; it was that they kept positive attitudes and trusted the Lord.

Having a good attitude isn't going to change the circumstance, but it will always make it more bearable. The psalmist described it perfectly in chapter 17: "A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones."

As soon as I felt that prickling of the Holy Spirit reminding me of the lesson which I was trying to teach my children, I knew I needed to change my own attitude--not only because my little ones had heard my grumbling, but because it was the right thing to do. I still don't want to handle this responsibility that's going to take hours of my time over the next many weeks, but I determined not to complain about it anymore. I will do my best and with a good attitude. These little ones of mine are always watching, and I never want to appear hypocritical to them. Do as I say and not as I do is not an option. 

Yes, there are always going to be things in your life that you have to do but don't want to do, but your attitude will make all the difference.