When You Don't Want To

"There are always going to be things in your life that you have to do but don't want to do."

I can't tell you how many times in the last few weeks I've said that to my kids. The freedoms of our summer schedule have been replaced with an increase in work and responsibilities. Every time they bemoan a task, I remind them of that statement.

"You don't have to like it. But you have to do it and you have to have a good attitude."

If I didn't wash our laundry, we'd walk around in stinky clothes. If Leighton didn't go to work every day, we'd have no home and no food. There will always be things such as going to doctor appointments, paying bills, cleaning toilets, maintaining a home and vehicle, managing money, raising children and reprimanding disobedient behavior, cooking, cleaning, chores. Life is full of responsibilities. 

"You never reach a point in your life when you can do only the things you want. Never. You will always have responsibilities you don't like. It's part of living."

So as I have been reminding my children of that, I experienced my own "I don't want to!" situation. I grumbled about the injustice to Leighton while the kids were getting ready for bed. It wasn't fair and I didn't want to do it.

That's when the Holy Spirit whispered my own words back to me.

"There are always going to be things in your life that you have to do but don't want to do."

Oh. Ouch.

While I realized the reality of certain responsibilities, I failed to apply that thinking to other areas of my life. I was acting just like my children by throwing a mini fit.

But I don't want to! I don't feel like it! It's not fair. Why do I have to?

Those same selfish and juvenile traits were manifesting in my much-too-old-to-be-acting-like-a-child behavior. Then my own parenting guidance came rushing back like a slap in the face. You know, when someone puts you in your place and you get a heaviness in your chest or a pit in your stomach.

The longer I parent, the more I realize that the lessons I am trying to teach my children are ones that I need to work on, too. We could all use more kindness. More selflessness. More integrity. More hard work. More empathy. More love.

I've always been a huge believer that you determine your attitude. You cannot control your circumstances, but you can control your response to them. After all, Paul and Silas sang in prison, Job praised God even after he lost everything, and Daniel continued to show respect to the king even while surrounded by hungry lions. It wasn't that they were in pleasant situations with everything going right; it was that they kept positive attitudes and trusted the Lord.

Having a good attitude isn't going to change the circumstance, but it will always make it more bearable. The psalmist described it perfectly in chapter 17: "A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones."

As soon as I felt that prickling of the Holy Spirit reminding me of the lesson which I was trying to teach my children, I knew I needed to change my own attitude--not only because my little ones had heard my grumbling, but because it was the right thing to do. I still don't want to handle this responsibility that's going to take hours of my time over the next many weeks, but I determined not to complain about it anymore. I will do my best and with a good attitude. These little ones of mine are always watching, and I never want to appear hypocritical to them. Do as I say and not as I do is not an option. 

Yes, there are always going to be things in your life that you have to do but don't want to do, but your attitude will make all the difference.

Tasty Tuesday: Boston Cream Poke Cake

Not being able to be in the kitchen is one of my biggest complaints of being on bed rest. I understand that it's extremely important to take care of this little one growing inside me, instead of caring for my culinary desires, but that doesn't remove the urge to bake. For now, I have to depend on my kids to create the yummy treats. 

I said the other day that they made a batch of brownies from scratch. The only problem was that it was a small recipe that filled only an 8x8 inch pan. With 6 of us in the house, those didn't last long. (They may or may not have been completely inhaled that very day. Shh, don't tell.)  I was ready for the kiddies to bake again.

I know that their kitchen skills are fairly advanced, but I wanted to make it as easy as possible for them to bake something. Instead of pulling out 20 ingredients and covering the counters with a bunch of measuring cups and spoons, I had Leighton grab a boxed cake mix and instant pudding mixes when he went grocery shopping.

Don't worry--their mess was still nearly the same had they made each component of the cake from scratch. Ah, kids, such talent. 

They took turns adding the ingredients and mixing the cake. 

Since Jake was head chef for the brownies and Alyssa was the sous chef, they swapped roles today. Poor Zac is always "cheffy," a job that allows him to come and go from the kitchen as he pleases. And it always pleases him to at least be present at the end when the residual batter is being licked clean from the utensils.   

After the cake baked, they added the holes. 

My other wooden spoons have funny-shaped ends, so they used my huge soup spoon. It works perfectly for stirring in my largest stock pot.

It works perfectly for poking holes in cakes, too.

Here is where they ran into problems.

Alyssa poured the pudding on the cake. And on the table.

I thought I gave them my 9x13 pan, but apparently gave them a smaller one. The cake itself nearly filled the pan and left little room for the pudding and chocolate layers.

She spread the pudding as best as she could, but left plenty of it still in the bowl. She and her brothers didn't mind having to finish off all the "extra" pudding though. Or scoping up and eating the spilled pudding off the table either. 

Since we had to wait for the pudding to cool and set, we figured we might as well do school. You know, because there was nothing else to do anyway. Afterwards, Jake made the frosting. We could have used a tub of store-bought, but there's just no comparison. If you're going to use a boxed cake mix, fine, but please make your frosting. Or not. It's up to you, but the 5 minutes it takes to make it yourself is well-worth the difference in taste. As Jake says, "Store-bought frosting makes me squeamish."  

Just like with regular Boston cream pie, this cake really needs to be left alone for several hours in order for the flavors to blend into something glorious. Sure, it's yummy if eaten right away, but wait those hours and something magical happens. Trust me, it's legit.

While this version using boxed mixes doesn't compare to our favorite recipe made completely from scratch, it does fulfill a craving much quicker. 

And sometimes, quicker and easier is the best of all.

And licking pudding off the table. That's good too.

Boston Cream Poke Cake

Ingredients:

1 box yellow cake mix (plus ingredients required on box, i.e. eggs, water, oil)

2 (3.4 oz) boxes instant vanilla pudding mix 

4 cups milk

chocolate frosting (recipe at bottom or use store-bought)

Directions:

1. Make cake according to directions on box and bake in an 9x13 inch cake pan.

2. Let cake cool for 10 minutes. Using a wooden spoon handle (or other similar-sized object), poke holes across the cake at 1-inch intervals, making sure to poke to the bottom of the pan.

3. Combine the pudding mix with the milk and pour on top of the warm cake, spreading to the edges. Place in fridge to cool completely.

4. Make the chocolate frosting according to the directions below and place in the microwave for 20-30 seconds (may be less for a store-bought tub), or until frosting is pourable, but not hot. Pour on top of pudding and spread evenly to cover cake. Place in the fridge for several hours to overnight to allow the flavors to meld and the pudding to soak into the cake. Store in the refrigerator.

Recipe adapted from The Country Cook.

Chocolate Frosting

Ingredients: 

6 tablespoons butter 

2 3/4 cups powdered sugar

6 tablespoons cocoa powder

5 tablespoons milk

1 teaspoon vanilla

Directions:

1. In a large bowl, cream the butter until smooth.

2. In a medium bowl, sift together powdered sugar and cocoa powder.

3. On low speed, gradually beat the sugar mixture into the butter, alternating with the milk. 

4. Add in vanilla and beat on medium speed until light and fluffy.

And-A-Half

As soon as Jacob turned four he began asking, "When am I going to be four-and-a-half?" It's a big deal to kids to add that half a year. You don't hear adults say, "I'm 42 1/2." But to a child, it's important. Jake plays with a few neighbor kids who are all four. It's funny to listen to them talk about who's older. 

For the past six months, I've had to count down until that long awaited milestone: four-and-a-half. You should have seen his excitement when I told him that he is indeed another half a year older. His eyes sparkled, his smile widened, and his feet danced with joy. He asked, "Do I look taller? I'm definitely taller."

Along with the pride of being older, comes added abilities. All day it's been, "Oh, I can do that. I'm four-and-a-half." He wasn't kidding. He made his own half-birthday cupcakes today. All by himself. He literally did everything except measure the ingredients. He even cracked the eggs! (Only had one tiny shell in the first one.) He washed the dishes too! He's helped me in the kitchen dozens of times, and watched hundreds. This was the first time I got to watch him. 

My little boy is growing up so fast. I love seeing him learn new things and reach new goals. And now that he can obviously handle greater tasks, I'm thinking it's time for some new chores! Because after all, he's four-and-a-half!     

Cracking an egg by himself for the first time.

The only piece of shell that fell in.

He loves using the mixer.

Doing what he does best: making a mess.

Not as neat as when Mommy does it!

He's a fast learner!

I'm not sure where more frosting ended up: the cupcakes or his face!

Our Little Trouble Maker even won the first game.