Adding Another Branch

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, 

and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Isaiah 55:8-9

These verses have been on my mind lately. When I get overwhelmed, when I start to question, when I fear, I remember those words. 

God's ways are not our ways. His way is always better.

And though we know that to be true, it's not always easy to accept it, to make it our own.


I wrote this post nearly 3 years ago. (Wow, it's hard to believe that much time has passed.) In it, I mention the words of the wise women that I know, about knowing when your family is complete. After baby #4 was born we were complete. We knew it. Many people have asked over the last couple years, when are you having another one? We'd laugh and respond with we're not; we're done. Our family is complete.

But then something happened. About 6 months ago, I really started getting this feeling that we were going to have another. Oh, it wasn't my plan, but I felt it. Little did I know at the time that it was God preparing me, working on my heart. Trying to get me to accept His plan. I kept these thoughts to myself for months. Finally, one evening as Leighton and I were alone, I asked, "Do you feel like we're going to end up with 5 kids?" He immediately and emphatically replied, "Yes." God was working on him, too. I didn't know it at the time, but I was already carrying another precious miracle within my womb.

I wish I could say that I surrendered immediately to His will, that I took His plan and made it mine. I did not. I had my own plan. My own desires. My own fears. Every reason I had began with I.

I want . . .I don't want . . . I was planning . . . I was going to . . . How am I . . .  

I

I

I

I can be such an ugly, selfish word.

Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. 
As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth.  
Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate. 
Psalm 127:3-5

God has chosen, in His perfect will, to reward us with another child. I can continue to question and fear, or I can remember Happy is the man . . .

Happy is the woman who can hear that new heartbeat.

Happy is the woman who will feel the moving and kicking of a growing child.

Happy is the woman who gets to snuggle another newborn babe.

Happy is the woman who gets to indulge in that new-baby smell.

Happy is the woman who can kiss 10 more tiny toes.

Happy is the woman who can feel those little fingers grasp her own.

Happy is the woman who can calm the crying child like no one else can.

Happy is the woman who can nurse and comfort another baby.

Happy is the woman whose heart will grow yet again to fully love another precious life.

Happy is the woman who has been privileged and entrusted with another blessing.

Happy is the woman.


The kids are already happy, in fact, they're thrilled. (Well, the older 3 are; Tyler is pretty clueless about it.) They've always wanted to have another sibling. I find it ironic that Jake asked if I was going to be ready for a 5th child this year, just a few weeks before I became pregnant. God was using my oldest child to guide me.  

Regardless of what I had planned, I know for sure this is God's will for our life.

~~~~~~~~~~

Because we got asked when we were expecting last time, and I'm sure we'll get asked again, let me answer a few questions:

Yes, we know what causes this. 

Yes, we know that it's "preventable."

Yes, we already have a TV.

Yes, my hands are full. 

Yes, this baby was planned (if not by us, for sure by God).

And yes, I suppose we are crazy.  

~~~~~~~~~~

Though at times I still struggle, I will remember that God's way is perfect. He has seen fit to abundantly bless us and add another branch to our family tree. And I will be happy.