Perspective

I went grocery shopping! 

I know . . . Boring, right?

But when you haven't done much except sit on the couch for nearly 3 months, even the mundane tasks of life seem exciting.

I've been thinking about that a lot lately actually--how your perspective can affect so much. We don't realize all the things we take for granted. You've heard the saying "You don't know what you have until it's gone"? Often we think of that statement applying to relationships and reminding us to appreciate the people in our life, but it can pertain anything. 

Like those mundane tasks.

Now that my ankle is in the process of healing and I'm able to get back to a somewhat "normal" routine again, I realize how the simple things can make me happy. I remember the excitement I felt when I walked from the couch to the kitchen. I didn't have to use my crutches! And the thrill of walking down the stairs to do laundry. Sure, it was a long process of putting both feet on each stair instead of going step-over-step, but I didn't have to scoot down on my bottom and crawl back up on my knees like a baby. I remember the day I was able to stand with the strength and ability to sweep and vacuum the house. And don't even get me started on the joy I feel every time now I get to organize an area of our home that was neglected for 3 months while we were in "survival mode."

Who knew that doing chores and simply walking whenever you want to could bring such happiness?

Too often, I think, we let insignificant things annoy us, cloud our judgment. It's easy to let little things  creep up and affect our attitude if we're not careful. I'm guilty of it, too. But, really, what good can come out of that?

A critical and unappreciative attitude robs you of your joy.

I carried a 3-ringed binder to classes with all my assignments in high school. It had a clear plastic cover that I could slide in a page on the front. Though I changed my decorative accents on the page from time to time, I always kept this quote from an 18th century French writer, Nicolas Chamfort: "The most thoroughly wasted of all days is that on which one has not laughed." (See, I was looking for Smiles all those years ago, too, ha.) It doesn't mean that you have to tell jokes or watch comedies every day, but it's a reminder to be intentional in keeping a good attitude. Negative circumstances happen all the time, but how you respond to them is what matters. The more negativity you dwell on, the less joy you find in the simple things.

I've always loved my role as a stay-at-home mom. The cooking, the cleaning, the raising of the kids--it has always been a rich, fulfilling life for me. And then we added homeschooling. And more kids. My responsibilities have multiplied. And somewhere along the way I think I lost a little of my love of caring for our home. I've gotten annoyed by the crumbs and bothered by the mess. Oh, it's not an everyday feeling, but now much more often than before it feels like housework. Chores. Responsibility. Work.

I let the busyness distract me from my joy in serving my family.

"You don't know what you have until it's gone." Yes, thankfully, my family is still here, but my ability to serve them was gone for months. It was a discouraging, helpless feeling watching everyone else take care of our home. And suddenly, I couldn't wait to sweep up those crumbs and scrub the toilets.

Perspective.

I'm still struggling with some chores around the house. What the mind says, the body doesn't always do. But as I'm listening to my body and trying to push it to strengthen the ankle (and knee, leg, and hip that also weren't used for months), I'm also trying not to push it to the point of greater injury. It's a difficult balance to find.

Every night I go to bed sore and exhausted. My body and my ankle ache. I have good days and then days when my ankle swells back up and walking is nearly impossible again. But even on those physically challenging days, I have chosen to be happy.

Life is good, for so very many reasons. And now again, I get to serve the people who bring me the greatest joy and blessings and who are part of my "many reasons."

I won't claim that the messes make me happy, but I will be thankful for what they represent. Food. Clothing. Learning. Fun. Life. Blessings.

Perspective.  

   

Things That Make Me Smile 2/10/17

Jake (11), Alyssa (8½), Zac (7), Tyler (4½), Nicholas (2)

This week we set up a surprise for the kiddos. We created a detailed treasure hunt that involved finding puzzles pieces  and assembling it for a hidden message. The surprise ended with checking the calendar where it was written that we are going to Legoland Florida for our vacation this year.  It was so much fun! The first 3 Smiles are quotes that I heard after they figured it out.

1. "I'm shaking with excitement!"

2. "I wish I could do a backflip because I would do 10 of them!"

3. "This is going to be the best vacation ever!"

4. Jake: "Girls wear way more clothes than boys. They wear like 7 layers at a time."

5. Alyssa, running around from Zac and cuddling up next to me: "You can't hurt me! I have a force field!" 

6. Jake's Lego laundry and washing machine creation.

 

7. Tyler: "Mama, can you get as much energy as you want?"

Me: "Ha, no."

Tyler: "No? Well, when does it stop."

Me: "When you have kids."

8. Alyssa: "It's so much fun having a baby brother!" 

9. The blessing we received from a stranger.

10. The song "Do You Want to Build a Snowman" from Frozen was playing in the living room: ". . . It's just you and me, what are we gonna do?"

Jake, popping his head around the hallway corner: "They do know it's you and I, right?"   


What made you Smile this week

Blessing from a Stranger

We were at the store today when I noticed an older lady smiling at our family. She had just stopped in the middle of the aisle and was watching as the kids talked and laughed together. I caught her gaze and returned her smile. We moved on, but she stood there, smiling still. 

A few minutes later, I was kneeling down looking at something on the next aisle over. She walked up to me, bent down, and placed money in my hands. She explained that she had a daughter and son-in-law who had 5 children--4 boys and 1 girl--who live in Washington. Our family reminded her of her own that she loves and misses so much and she wanted to bless us because of it.

Fast forward one hour and another store. We were standing in line at the checkout at the thrift store when one of the kids noticed a large bag of Legos. I looked at the price and determined that it cost too much. Immediately, our cashier offered them to us for another amount--40% off. I shop at this store often and have never once seen them change a price. 

Never.

Until today.

Here we are now with thousands of new Legos, paid for mostly by a complete stranger (and made possible by another). I am humbled by her generosity and hope to be able to bless others like that one day. 

Too often we talk about the negativity, but there are still nice people in this world. 

It doesn't always mean giving money. It could be a smile, a kind word, or a helping hand. 

Be those nice people.

Choose To Be Happy

The kids were in the living room watching a learning video.

Me? I was sitting in the darkness of my room, cuddling a tiny boy. Enjoying his warmth. Listening to his breathing. Feeling his love.

The truth is that he had fallen asleep after eating and I couldn't bear to put him to bed and head back out to the rest of the family.

It had been a rough afternoon.

Fighting. Whining. Messes. Stress. I could feel my irritation rising as my patience grew thin. I was on the verge of losing my temper.

I needed a mommy timeout.

It was there in the stillness of that room that perspective was restored. I needed to calm down. The kids feed off my negative energy. If I was crabby, chances are they were going to be crabby too. If I was short-fused, they were going to be irritable as well. It did not excuse their wrongdoings, but it helped me choose to have a good attitude. I needed to stop focusing on the hardships of the day, and instead, choose to be happy.

Yes, it's a choice.

You cannot control your circumstances, but you can control your response to them.

I needed to choose to respond with patience and grace. Crabbiness multiplies, but so does happiness. It's my responsibility to keep the happiness level high in our household. Even when there's fighting and whining and mommy gets stressed, I realize this is just a season, a fleeting moment of time. These 5 little blessings of mine will be grown in just a few short years. There will come a day when they will no longer need me to make them a pb&j sandwich or allow me to wash the stickiness off their face. They will stop asking to sit on my lap or listen to me read a story. As time goes on, their independence will grow and their reliance on me will be nearly nonexistent. I want to savor these moments now, even on the craziest of days. The Lord has blessed us greatly. Instead of dwelling on the stressful moments, I choose to praise the Lord for all that He's done.

Praise ye the Lord. Praise God in his sanctuary: praise him in the firmament of his power. Praise him for his mighty acts: praise him according to his excellent greatness. Praise him with the sound of the trumpet: praise him with the psaltery and harp. Praise him with the timbrel and dance: praise him with stringed instruments and organs. Praise him upon the loud cymbals: praise him upon the high sounding cymbals. Let every thing that hath breath praise the Lord. Praise ye the Lord. ~ Psalm 150

I laid my tiniest blessing in bed and walked back in the living room, this time with a renewed spirit. Yes, I was still exhausted while the children had copious amounts of energy. Yes, I was still reminding them to be nice to each other. Yes, I was still reprimanding their wrong actions. But it didn't take long for my happiness to overflow to them. Within time, they too changed their attitudes. And once we all chose to be happy, the whole day was changed for the better.

There are always going to be hours or even days that are stressful, but we must focus on the blessings of God and His grace to help us through. And we must choose to be happy.

Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson 

Things That Make Me Smile 11/28/14

Jake (8½), Alyssa (6½), Zac (5), Tyler (2½)

Happy Friday and Happy Thanksgiving! This week has been very different at our house. I've been having some complications with baby and since we're only 33 weeks along, I've been restricted to the couch and bed all week, trying to keep this baby in for a bit longer. Leighton, the kids, and my parents have helped out so much. It's certainly not an ideal situation, but one of utmost importance. I've said this entire pregnancy that God is teaching me to slow down and that I'm not in control. They are hard lessons for me. Though things have not been going "my" way, we have much to be thankful for and many reasons to Smile. 

1. Jake, last week (oops) when Tyler was spending the night at my parents': "I can hear Tyler coming down the stairs. That's how much I miss him."

2. Zac, who is 19 months younger: "I liked when Alyssa was a baby."

3. Jake: "How do birds talk to each other? On Twitter!"

 
4.

5. Tyler, trying to stop Alyssa from feeling the baby move so only he could, "No, Lyssa! You ruin it!"

6. Jake: "Why couldn't the farmer talk? Because he was horse!"

7. Zac, because my mom picked Tyler up for the day so I could rest: "Today's your lucky day! Now you can work on organizing the basement more!"

8. Tyler: "Mommy, I want snack."

Me: "What kind of snack?"

Tyler: "Yellow!"

9. The kids wanted to make mini volcanoes, but I couldn't go to the basement to gather the needed supplies. They found everything they needed, set it up, and had so much fun experimenting. 

10. Zac, after being awake for only a little while: "I'm having so much fun today!" 

11. Alyssa: "I'm burning cold."

12. Tyler: "Ty-Ty want someping eat."
Me: "What do you want?"
Tyler: "Um, candy!"
Me: "No."
Tyler: "On crackers?" 

What made you Smile this week?

 

Adding Another Branch

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, 

and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Isaiah 55:8-9

These verses have been on my mind lately. When I get overwhelmed, when I start to question, when I fear, I remember those words. 

God's ways are not our ways. His way is always better.

And though we know that to be true, it's not always easy to accept it, to make it our own.


I wrote this post nearly 3 years ago. (Wow, it's hard to believe that much time has passed.) In it, I mention the words of the wise women that I know, about knowing when your family is complete. After baby #4 was born we were complete. We knew it. Many people have asked over the last couple years, when are you having another one? We'd laugh and respond with we're not; we're done. Our family is complete.

But then something happened. About 6 months ago, I really started getting this feeling that we were going to have another. Oh, it wasn't my plan, but I felt it. Little did I know at the time that it was God preparing me, working on my heart. Trying to get me to accept His plan. I kept these thoughts to myself for months. Finally, one evening as Leighton and I were alone, I asked, "Do you feel like we're going to end up with 5 kids?" He immediately and emphatically replied, "Yes." God was working on him, too. I didn't know it at the time, but I was already carrying another precious miracle within my womb.

I wish I could say that I surrendered immediately to His will, that I took His plan and made it mine. I did not. I had my own plan. My own desires. My own fears. Every reason I had began with I.

I want . . .I don't want . . . I was planning . . . I was going to . . . How am I . . .  

I

I

I

I can be such an ugly, selfish word.

Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. 
As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth.  
Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate. 
Psalm 127:3-5

God has chosen, in His perfect will, to reward us with another child. I can continue to question and fear, or I can remember Happy is the man . . .

Happy is the woman who can hear that new heartbeat.

Happy is the woman who will feel the moving and kicking of a growing child.

Happy is the woman who gets to snuggle another newborn babe.

Happy is the woman who gets to indulge in that new-baby smell.

Happy is the woman who can kiss 10 more tiny toes.

Happy is the woman who can feel those little fingers grasp her own.

Happy is the woman who can calm the crying child like no one else can.

Happy is the woman who can nurse and comfort another baby.

Happy is the woman whose heart will grow yet again to fully love another precious life.

Happy is the woman who has been privileged and entrusted with another blessing.

Happy is the woman.


The kids are already happy, in fact, they're thrilled. (Well, the older 3 are; Tyler is pretty clueless about it.) They've always wanted to have another sibling. I find it ironic that Jake asked if I was going to be ready for a 5th child this year, just a few weeks before I became pregnant. God was using my oldest child to guide me.  

Regardless of what I had planned, I know for sure this is God's will for our life.

~~~~~~~~~~

Because we got asked when we were expecting last time, and I'm sure we'll get asked again, let me answer a few questions:

Yes, we know what causes this. 

Yes, we know that it's "preventable."

Yes, we already have a TV.

Yes, my hands are full. 

Yes, this baby was planned (if not by us, for sure by God).

And yes, I suppose we are crazy.  

~~~~~~~~~~

Though at times I still struggle, I will remember that God's way is perfect. He has seen fit to abundantly bless us and add another branch to our family tree. And I will be happy.

Happiness Happens

Yesterday was Happiness Happens Day! It's a day set aside to focus on the happiness that happens around us each and every day. It's so easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of living, to focus on the busyness, to acknowledge only the negative. It is a day to ignore all that and survey your life. Blessings are everywhere. If you're looking for them, you'll be overwhelmed. That's one of the reasons Things That Make Me Smile has become one of my favorite parts of the blog. It helps me to look for the happiness. It helps me be more aware of the blessings and humor in life.

The kids and I talked about some things that make us happy. There was a lot of discussion that accompanied the main points, but I certainly could not keep up with their excitement and random thoughts. Here's the list point-by-point. One kid would mention something, and the others would agree. I put the happiness under the child who said if first (except for the first thing on each of their lists, since they hadn't heard the others say it, but added it all on their own.)

Jake's List

Jesus!

Legos

Sugar Cookie (toy bear)

church and the pastor

and of course Jesus

and that He made a way for us to go to Heaven and He made it easy, too

Mommy

Daddy

Batman

that I'm older than both my brothers and sister

a great mommy

skeletons

money

masks - that scare Alyssa

glow-in-the-dark stuff
when Baby Ty Juice smiles at us
snakes

Alyssa's List

Jesus

going on vacation

baby bunnies

my favorite dresses

lipgloss

my picture when I was a baby
tea parties

Zac's List

Jesus!

Jacob!

coffee!

Baby Ty Juice!

Aaaaalyssa!

Peanut butter & jellyyyyy!

Tyler's List (as translated by Mommy)
brothers and sister who love me very much
Mommy & Daddy
hugs
kisses
milk
 

Mommy's List

Before I could say anything, Jake said, "I know what - Daddy." Daddy's always at the top of my list.

4 healthy little Blessings
being a stay-at-home, homeschooling mommy
fantastic parents we can call our best friends
a relationship with my merciful Savior
books, lots of books
kitchen gadgets (food processor, crock pot, bread machine, rotisserre oven- to name a few)
canning
folded laundry
a clean kitchen
coupons/saving money
mint cookies & cream ice cream
hearing my kids giggle
hearing "I love you"
hugs and kisses (even slobbery baby kisses)
ice water
geocaching
warm, fudgy brownies
organizing
hearing my kids make their Happiness Happens Lists

 . . . and on and on and on 


Obviously, there are many more things we could add (house, electricity, running water, heat/ac, vehicles, food, insurance, job, etc.) Happiness is everywhere if you take the time to notice.

If you're happy and you know it, comment below!