Kids Say the Funniest Things: Part 2

This is the second part of our review of 2010. See what other funny things our kids did. 

MAY 

Jake was trying to fill a reservoir for a squirt gun, but it was too big to fit under the faucet. So, he put a bendy straw in it and stuck the straw in the flow of water. I see engineering in his future!

Jake asked, "When is Jesus going to knock at our door?"

Jake was explaining all the colors of dice: white dice, black dots; red dice, white dots; white dice, red dots, etc. . . I asked, "How do you know so much?" He told me, "Because I'm a dice expert."

My cousin works for Moroch, an advertising agency. The pictures that he submitted of Jake were chosen for a fishing commercial. Here is the final product that aired on television. (Jake is seen casting at 14 seconds.)

JUNE

Jake was helping me do yard work and chopped a big root that I was saving for Leighton to do. Once he cut through it he said, "I didn't know I was that strong! God must have helped me cut it! God helped me just like He helped David kill Goliath."

I was trying to explain orphans to Jake. He said, "Oh, so they can do whatever they want because they don't have a mommy and daddy?"

I was playing badminton with Jake. He said, "No, it's good."

Alyssa chased a fly around the house yelling, "Get back here fly!"

Jake locked the baby in my bedroom "so he wouldn't get into trouble."

Alyssa was crying because she hurt her elbow. Jake rushed over and kissed it. She instantly stopped crying and said, "Thanks."


JULY
Jake said, "I looked outside and it wasn't my friends throwing rocks at my window. It was fireworks!"

Jake sang, "Oh my darlin', oh my darlin', oh my darlin' Valentine."

Jake said, "I want everybody in the whole world to know that I'm going to VBS next week."

Jake told me, "Mom, if your coupon is expired and it's not on sale, you can still buy it. People do that."

Jake said, "I think I need new feet. These shoes don't fit."

Jake was learning to ride his bike without the training wheels. At one point he really picked up speed before falling. He said, "It's a good thing that tree was there. I might have fallen in the road!"

Jake had a piece of tape stuck to his knee. Leighton asked him how it got there, but he claimed he didn't know. Leighton then asked, "Don't you keep track of your knees." Jake replied, "Well, I take them with me."

Alyssa hid in the laundry room and cut her own hair.


AUGUST
Jake got a medal for saying the most verses in his age group at VBS. His response: "I thought it was going to be bigger . . . and shinier."

Alyssa asked for "jolly rancher dip." (Ranch Dressing)

I found Alyssa with an empty 2 ounce bottle of syrup that she found in the pantry and then drank. She looked at me innocently and said, "I sticky."

One of Jake's favorite sayings is, "Speaking of which . . . "

Jake told me, "I'm glad I have you for a mommy."

Jake looked at some of the groceries we had just bought and said, "Oh, yeah, I'm definitely spoiled."

Jake is too much like his Papa. Alyssa came over to tell me something, and he said, "I'm warning ya, she's wrong."

Jake was looking at one of the "What's Wrong" puzzles in his Puzzle Buzz book. I pointed out a horse wearing a birthday hat. He laughed and said, "Yeah, I don't think it's his birthday!"

Alyssa kept hitting my side. When I asked her why she said, "I don't know. My hand moving."

One morning we were watching Dora the Explorer. Included in the contents of her backpack was a doughnut. Jake, with a look of disgust on his face, said, "Why would there be a doughnut with frosting on it in her backpack? Frosting melts actually."

Alyssa got a comb tangled in her hair. It took me 10 minutes to get it out.

Jake was looking through new books that he had gotten for school. He said, "I'm not just happy. I'm VERY happy!"

Jake was trying to move his wooden toy box with handles. He said, "Ugh, is this the Ark of the Covenant?"

* * * We will conclude this series with September, October, November, and December in Part Three.