Kids Say the Funniest Things: Part 1

It's hard to believe another year has come and gone. As I think back on 2010, I am reminded of the many funny things my kids said and did. The next 3 posts will be a summary of those things. (Aren't you glad it's only a summary?) My three Little Blessings make me laugh. I hope they do you also.

JANUARY

Alyssa asked for a piece of candy and was told no. A minute later I heard crinkling under the table. Recognizing the sound of a candy wrapper, I asked, "Alyssa, what are you doing?" She replied, "Hide, Mommy. Hide."

I took a peach cobbler out of the oven and Jake said, "That smells hot!"

Jacob informed me that he is ready to go to college.

Alyssa gave herself a peanut butter facial.

The kids and I were watching the birds. I noted that they were mourning doves. Jake looked around and said, "Yeah, it is morning."

Jake was upset with Zachary because he wouldn't say snake for him. "He's just sitting looking at me and sucking his fingers."

Jake said, "Wow, Mommy! I love your pantry! It's so neat and organized!"

FEBRUARY

Jacob was upset that his peanut butter and jelly sandwich tasted like peanut butter and jelly.

Alyssa was learning to sleep in underwear over night. One morning, she went with me into the bathroom and asked, "Mommy dry? Yea Mommy!!!" Apparently, I was getting the hang of it too!

Jake put a bunch of bow barrettes in Alyssa's hair and said, "Wow, you look like a bowaholic!"

Jake said, "Everybody sins. That's why Jesus died on the cross."

Alyssa scattered an entire box of kleenex throughout the house.

Jake told the baby, "You look short today, Zachary."

Jake had been wearing his Batman cape for days. I pointed out that he was no longer wearing it. He replied, "That's because I'm Bruce Wayne right now."

MARCH

Jake found a box of old clothes and kept asking for my permission to be 3 again so he could wear them.

I asked Jake why he was so crabby. He said, "I'm not crabby. Everything's just bugging me!"

Jake had Alyssa convinced her head could come off. She kept pulling on it saying, "Please, head off."

Alyssa had been frantically running away from her shadow. After a few minutes of it still chasing her, she looked at it and yelled, "STOP!"

Beware the Ides of March 

APRIL

Jake was telling me about "a long, long time ago" . . . when he was three.

Jake scraped his elbow outside and asked me, "Wanna touch my blood?"

Jake asked, "Do you have any females for me?"

Jake was concerned about 2 huge bumblebees. He said, "I thought they were sting bugs." I said, "They are, but they'll be nice to you if you are nice to them." He said, "Oh, should I just say 'hi'?"

Jake hit the baseball over the fence. After I climbed over and got it, he said, "That was quite the rescue!"

Jake said, "I tried to cover my mouth, but my hand sneezed it away."

Jake asked, "What is the bathtub at church for?"

Diary of a Mom 

Alyssa discovered that she does not like bird seed.

Jake told Zachary, "You smell like blonde apples."

We were singing Jesus Loves the Little Children. On the second verse, instead of died for Jake sang, "Jesus diapered all the children."

We were driving to Target when I heard, "MOMMY!" I looked in the mirror and all I saw were feet up in the air. Apparently, when I put the van seat back up it didn't click into place. So, while we were driving , it flipped back down, with Jake still buckled in.

Jake said, "I used to be a dog, but then I grew into a man."

* * * Stay tuned for memories from May, June, July, and August in Part Two!