Another year has flown by! People always say the older you get, the faster time seems to pass. And it's so true! I am amazed at all my kids have learned an accomplished this past year. That's one reason I love this blog. I look back and remember all that we've done, all the projects and recipes we've made, and all the funny things they've said. Just like last year, I'm going to write up a summary of the funny things the kids said over the course of 2011. Here is the first 4 months.
Jake found an old picture of Leighton and me. He had to put it on his dresser next to his bed facing him. He told me, "Now I can see you first thing in the morning. I even kissed it!"
Alyssa told me, "I want to eat onions!" And she did . . . raw.
Jake was reading a book to Alyssa. I realized that he wasn't actually reading, but quoting it from memory. He said, "That's because I rememberized it."
I was reading the kids the story of Joshua and Hur holding Moses' arms up to defeat the Amalekites. It was like an Abbott and Costello skit:
Jake: "What's her name?"
Jake: "No, what's her name?"
Jake told me, "You make the super-duper best cinnamon rolls!"
Jake brought me his key ring filled with miscellaneous unused keys. "He asked, "Can we wash these? They seem kinda dirty."
Jake was eating a piece of my birthday cake. "I have to stop eating this, my tummy hurts. Well, maybe one more bite . . . just one more . . . one more bite . . .
Jake was trying to perform magic tricks. He put a quarter in his hand and blew on it. He was appalled to find out it was still there when he opened his hand. "What? Why isn't it in my ear?"
I took Zac out to play in the snow for the first time. He whined the entire time were were outside. Then when I brought him in, he whined because he wanted back out.
I was practicing letter sounds with Alyssa. When asked what p says, she replied, "Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty!"
Jake told me, "Mommy, I love you more than acorns."
I told the kids that the next day was Washington's birthday. Jake asked, "How old is he gonna be? Are we invited?"
Alyssa was cuddling with me in bed one morning. She looked at me and said, "You know what? I love you."
Alyssa: "I'll put on my snow pants and coat and play outside with the birdies."
Me: "But they'll be scared and fly away."
Alyssa: "Why? I not a monster."
Jake said, "Mommy, I love you. I want you to shake like a wet dog."
Jake asked, "Mommy, how can I get my very own echo? Every time I try to say something, it never comes back to me."
I was listing all the things I had to do in the next couple hours. Jake asked, "Can't you have a break one day?"
Alyssa said, "Mommy, I want you. May I have you please?"
Jake said, "These Jigsaw Jones books are really old. You know how I know? Because they don't have any color."
Jake yelled out the window to random teenagers riding by, "Hey! Riding a two-wheeler is not as easy as it looks!"
We were driving home from church one evening and we were pretending that the van was a submarine and were pointing out the things we saw. I said, "I see a hammerhead shark!" Jake laughed so hard and said, "I see a screwdriverhead shark!"
Jake said, "Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet, eating her curves and waves."
Alyssa told me, "My daddy's so cute!"
Alyssa refused to take a nap because she was scared. Her daddy told her the day before that skin falls off when you sleep. She thought that meant ALL her skin would fall off.
Jake said, "Mommy, I love you so much my heart will go to you and give you a bigger heart."
Alyssa got the tiniest scratch on her finger. She walked around the house saying, "Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. My skin is falling off."
Jake spent the night at my parents' house. When I picked him up the next day, he said, "I missed you so much my heart was melting."
Alyssa was playing pat-a-cake: "Pat it and roll it. Put it in the oven. Set the timer." Forget about embellishments? Let's make sure it's not over-baked!
Alyssa: "I'm hungry."
Jake: "Are you so hungry you could eat a horse?"
Alyssa: "Nooo, I don't eat horse!"
Jake hurt his ankle and said, "I'm probably going to need a peg leg now."
Alyssa: "May I have candy please?"
Me: "No, I'm making dinner."
Alyssa: "Well, can I have chocolate sauce on my noodles?"
** Look for Part Six tomorrow! **
Want to read previous funny things?
Kids Say the Funniest Things: Part Four (quotes from my first grade students)