Nicholas' Birth Story: Part 2

This is part 2 of Nicholas' birth story. You can find part 1 here.

Saturday morning, I got up with the kids and let Leighton sleep in a little. He had been so busy the past few weeks between working 50+ hours at his job and then caring for everything at home because of my bed rest. I spent just a few minutes in the kitchen cleaning up, we ate breakfast, and then I spent the remainder of the day in bed. Leighton had to be at the church that afternoon to practice for the Christmas cantata at church the next day. Since he is the choir director, it was imperative that he be there. I assured him that I'd be fine on my own. The kids sat in bed with me reading books and then eventually watching a movie as I napped.

Around 5:00 p.m., a contraction woke me up. I was surprised by the intensity of it. I tried to fall back asleep, futilely thinking that maybe I could prevent another from happening. 

But another happened. They weren't incredibly strong, but strong enough that they were slightly uncomfortable. 

Leighton got home then, thankfully. I did not dare stand up, but lay there drinking water, willing my body to cooperate. I sent my mom a text, letting her know the situation. Because I am prone to labor quickly, the little time we have is precious. I wasn't convinced it was for sure labor, but I wanted her to be aware.

I continued to contract sporadically. 7 minutes. 4 minutes. 10 minutes. 6 minutes.

Leighton called my parents and asked them to run to the store to purchase an inflatable pool, just in case, since my birthing pool had not arrived yet. I did not want to birth in the bathtub for the third time (bathtub birth 1 and bathtub birth 2). It's uncomfortable, restricting, and too shallow to experience the soothing benefits of the warm water. I longed for another "perfect" birth. 

It wasn't long after that that we started to accept that labor was not stopping and baby was indeed coming. Since Eileen, my midwife, was out of town, Leighton called Heather, the nurse midwife who had assisted with some of my prenatal appointments. 

No answer.

He called again. Still no answer.

Now what? I had teased him throughout the pregnancy that no one was going to make it to the birth and he'd have to deliver the baby by himself. My joke wasn't as funny in reality. 

Leighton called Eileen to ask her opinion of what to do.

No answer. 

Now things were getting interesting. He called Heather again. And again, there was no answer. 

My parents showed up at our house--pool-less, because stores don't carry summer swimming pools in the middle of December, go figure--and we discussed our options. We decided to head to their house and use their jacuzzi tub for the birth since it is much deeper than our tub at home. I started listing off items--birthing kit, pajamas, diapers, clothes for baby, lavender oil--while Leighton started filling the bag. The plan was to head over by ourselves while my mom and dad packed clothes for the kids, got them ready, and met us at their house.

Somewhere during Leighton's rush to leave, I decided to stay. My contractions were getting more intense. Because of my prior fast labors (including my 45 minute birth, from first contraction to baby's first breath), I didn't want to birth the baby on my mom's kitchen floor, or worse yet, our van. No, we were staying home. I asked Leighton to fill the bathtub, because even though it's not ideal, it was a better option than birthing on an unprepared bed. Cleanup in a bathtub is almost as simple as pulling a drain, more or less.

And then? Eileen called back. And while Leighton was talking to her, Heather called on the other phone. We went from having no midwives to having 2 on the phone at once. 

I continued to labor, my dad watched the kids, my mom went back and forth between them and me, and Leighton tried to decipher his conversation with Heather because of bad reception. Eventually, through the broken call, it was determined that another midwife was going to come. Heather was an hour and a half away.

So here we were 4 weeks before my due date, with no birthing pool, and my midwife on the other side of the country, with our backup midwife too far away, and a midwife that we've never met coming to help.

We like to keep things interesting.

The next little while was filled with typical labor activities: getting in the bathtub, getting out of the bathtub because I felt like labor was stalling, walking around my room, putting books away on the shelf, walking some more, trying to find a comfortable position, eating half a clementine before my taste buds betrayed me, walking, walking, walking. I eventually climbed into bed to relax through the contractions.

At that point, the backup midwife's backup showed up. She checked my vitals, listened to the fetal heart tones, and filled out paperwork. Then she quietly sat to the side and let us do our thing. Me lying in bed, Leighton at my side encouraging me, and my mom close by reassuring me as well.  I fell into such a relaxed state that I had a couple times where it felt as though I had dozed off between contractions with the sensation of the next tightening waking me up again. It was a strange experience.

It wasn't long before I felt like I needed to go to the bathroom. As I walked from the bed, a contraction came so strongly that my legs refused to hold me. Leighton supported the weight of my shaking body as I tried to focus on my breathing. The contraction passed and we made our way to the other room.

I emptied my bladder and then climbed back into the warm water in the tub. Instantly, my stomach contracted, this time breaking my water in the process. Two pushes later, and Leighton delivered our baby, by himself, just like I had joked. Between this being our fifth birth and having a midwife there in the room, he had all the confidence he needed to calmly and skillfully help bring our child into this world. It was a precious moment for us both.

first chiropractic adjustment

As we pulled the baby to my chest, my mom announced, "It's another boy!" And I laughed, just like I said I would if we added a fourth boy to the family. Throughout the pregnancy, I was absolutely convinced he was a girl. Wow, was I wrong, haha! This baby has been full of surprises from his conception to the way I felt during the pregnancy to his early birth to his gender. I wonder what other surprises this little one has in store for us.

I was still sitting in the bathtub, cuddling my newest blessing, when Heather arrived.She had missed the birth, but was there in time to preform the after-birth duties: weighing, measuring, checking, examining.

Nicholas Samuel Leaf
5 lbs. 18" born at 8:19 p.m. on 12/13/14

Though he was born many weeks before we expected, he has done so very well and has not shown many signs of being a preemie. Today, over a month later, he is thriving and has added lots of squishy baby fat. The other kids completely adore him--constantly hugging, kissing, holding, and loving on him. They enjoy helping me with him and are very concerned when he's unhappy. Every time he cries, Tyler assumes it's because he wants a kiss. He rushes over and plants a kiss anywhere on little Nicholas--head, hands, feet, belly. If he continues to cry, Tyler tells me, "Mommy, kiss him!" From the very first moment, this baby was very, very loved.

There is no denying that this little one was planned by God, perfectly for us. He is the best surprise we never knew we needed.

Nicholas, I feel so honored to be chosen to be your mommy. May God give me the strength to raise you to serve Him and to be the mother you need me to be. I love you, little one.      

Nicholas' Birth Story: Part 1

I'm experiencing a bit of déjà vu today. I can start this post the same way I started another nearly 3 years ago:

I expected to be welcoming a new life into the world this week. Instead, we're celebrating with our one month old baby boy.

While the timing is the same, the stories are very different.

After being surprised by our last baby's early appearance, I was very proactive in trying to keep this baby in until close to my due date. Eileen, my midwife, teased, "You're going to make it to at least 39 weeks, right?" I had every intention of doing so. Throughout the pregnancy, I took a 25 billion probiotic supplement to fight any possible infections, made my own mama's herbal tea to strengthen my uterus, and supplemented with various vitamins and minerals in addition to my prenatal vitamins to overcome any potential problems and ensure that I was overall healthy. I determined to do whatever it took to birth a healthy, full-term baby.

Even though this was my most difficult pregnancy as far as nausea and exhaustion, everything else seemed to be going well. Each prenatal appointment showed the same positive results: vitals were good, urinalysis was good, weight gain was good, baby's growth was good. Everything was good.

Until week 33.

Leighton had gotten free tickets to the U of M football game. We dropped the kids off with my parents and headed to The Big House. Row 23 right at the 50 yard line. But even better than the seats was the company. Just the two of us, for hours. We talked and laughed, cuddled under a blanket in the rain, watched the game, and just enjoyed being together. We left with a few minutes remaining in the 4th quarter, partly because we wanted to miss the rush of people and partly because I was physically spent. Sitting on bleachers for 3 hours was more than enough for my pregnant self.

We speed walked the mile or so from our seats to the van. Between my achy back and round ligament pains, I was uncomfortable. Leighton suggested multiple times that we slow down, but I figured the faster we got back, the sooner we were out of the cold and the sooner I could relax.   

We stopped for some coffee to warm us up on the way home, I put a disposable heating pad on my back, and I reclined my seat. Already I was feeling better. Everything was good. 

And then, as we pulled off the expressway, I felt a contraction. Eh, no big deal. I had been experiencing Braxton Hicks (first pregnancy to have them) for weeks.

Then I felt another not long after. Ok, that was a little odd. I looked at the time, just in case.

And then, another. Four minutes. I casually mentioned to Leighton that I was having contractions. The look on my face betrayed me, and he became concerned. We tried not to worry as we continued to drive.

Four minutes. Again.

The fifth contraction came as we pulled into my parents' driveway.
 

 
I lay down and started drinking glass after glass of water. After a couple hours, the contractions slowed. We left the kids there for the night, not knowing if a hospital trip was in our very near future. We headed home and went to bed. It was there that I spend the rest of the weekend.

Though the contractions weren't coming as quickly, they were, indeed, still coming, both randomly and every time I stood. Throughout the course of the next week or so, I spoke with Eileen many times. We discussed every possible scenario and what actions needed to be taken to keep the baby safe. Over time, it became apparent that complete bed rest was best.

Bed rest. Ugh. I had been on bed rest with Jake also. Three weeks of sitting around doing nothing. But that wasn't really that big of a deal. We were living with my parents at the time, so they took care of everything at home, and the school got a substitute to teach my classes. But this time? This was different. I had my own house and 4 young children to care for. The first week especially was difficult for me. Sure, my mom was coming over every week day to help and Leighton was managing everything in the evenings and weekends, but emotionally, I was having a difficult time. I was the one who was supposed to be cleaning. I was the one who should have been cooking. I was the one who needed to help my kids.

But I couldn't.

I couldn't, and that hurt. After Tyler's early birth, I so wanted this birth to go perfectly. Now, I wasn't even sure I'd have a home birth at all. Of course I wanted another home birth and to actually birth in the birthing pool (instead of the bathtub, again), but more than just for the experience of it, I wanted it to happen because that meant the baby was far enough along to safely be born. I did everything I could to ensure it went as planned, but it wasn't enough. I knew that bed rest was the absolute best option for all of us--especially baby--but it was not easy.

Sometime during the second week, I changed my poor-me attitude. If I was truly going to do what was best for baby and still hope for the birth I planned, then I needed to fully accept that bed rest was the only way.  I enjoyed being with my mom every day, appreciated meals sent from our church, did my Christmas shopping online, worked on some projects for the kids, and continued with our schooling--all while sitting on the couch. I set aside my pride and stopped thinking but I want to do it all! and instead focused on I will do what's best.  

Things went on like that for 3 weeks. There were constant questions: how long will baby stay in? will we make it until at least 36 weeks? how much can I get done for Christmas after coming off bed rest before the work sends me into labor? How and What if became regulars in my thinking. I couldn't change any of it, but I am always analyzing things and like to be prepared. I joked that everything was just going to stop and baby was going to be 2 weeks late.

I had put off purchasing and gathering my supplies because we weren't sure if there was going to be a home birth. As my uterus stopped contracting from the lack of activity and we got closer to the full-term mark, I ordered my birthing kit and pool. The kit arrived a few days later, the pool did not.

As long as I refrained from much exertion, the contraction were practically nonexistent. I started to believe that we just might have a January birth after all. Eileen went out of town for a few days, leaving the number of a nurse midwife (who had accompanied her during both Tyler's and Nicholas' prenatal appointments), just in case something were to happen. I was not the least bit nervous with her leaving. I was going to stay on bed rest until she returned the following Tuesday. At that point, I would be 36 weeks and my kit and pool would be here. If I went into labor, we were ready.

Except we never made it to Tuesday.

To be continued . . .Part 2 of Nicholas' birth story.

Tyler's Birth Story

I expected to be welcoming a new life into the world this week. Instead, we're celebrating with our one month old baby boy.

That Saturday morning, one month ago, was a special day. I woke to Alyssa climbing into bed with us.

Me: "Good morning, Sweetheart. Do you know what today is?"

Alyssa: "It's my party!"

She had turned 4 three days before, but we were celebrating with a party at my parents' house that evening.  The whole family was coming (minus one cousin away at college): grandparents, uncle & aunt, cousins. Even great-grandpa and grandma, who were coming home from Florida that afternoon would be there. Aunt Dawn was making a special princess castle cake and everyone was bringing exciting presents. All of this to celebrate 4 years with our little girl.

The boys made their way into our bed a few minutes later. We enjoyed each others company as we laughed and played on that lazy Saturday morning.  We eventually got up and headed to the kitchen. The kids played around us as Leighton cooked eggs and bacon while I made toast.

Tyler Joseph Leaf born at 4:12 pm

I was so thankful that Leighton and my mom convinced me to order pizza for the party. Usually, I make all the food for their parties, but they thought I deserved a break. I wasn't going to use being 8 months pregnant as as excuse, but for once it was nice to not have to spend the day in the kitchen. 

That afternoon, Zac and Alyssa lay down for a nap, Jake was playing with LEGOs, and Leighton was working on the boys' bunk beds. I headed to Michaels a little after 2:00 p.m. to take advantage of some deals. While at the store, I talked to some employees about a few upcoming workshops at the store, helped a lady choose silk flowers for her house, and chit-chatted with a friend's husband who was there doing some shopping as well.

Contraction.

I walked the aisles, looking for inspiration for craft projects for the kids. I spoke to an employee about one of the products.

Contraction.

I continued placing items in my cart - some predetermined, some by impulse. I walked through the entire store, taking advantage of being alone.

Contraction.

weight 5 lbs 10 oz

I made my way to the register and the way-too-long line.

Contraction.

I talked to the cashier and the lady behind me about my baby that would be born in four weeks, paid for my things and headed to the van. I checked over my receipt and realized that I bought the wrong thing. I considered going inside to exchange it, but didn't want to wait in that line again. I headed home instead at 3:00 p.m.

Contraction.

Leighton heard me arrive home and met me at the door.

Leighton, looking at my expression: "Are you ok?"

Me: "No."

Leighton: "Are you having contractions?"

Me: "Yes."

For someone who just talked to half the people at the store, I suddenly didn't have much to say. 

length 19 3/4 inches

I truly thought I was having Braxton Hicks. As long as I was not dilating, I was ok. I sent Leighton to research what could be done to stop the contractions as I headed to our room to lie down on my left side and drink some water.

Leighton: "All I can find is to lie down on your left side and drink some water. Watch a movie or take a nap . . . because there's nothing you can do to stop it."

Me: "What! Call Eileen (my midwife) to see what she says I can do. We have a party tonight!"

He called her and explained the situation. She immediately began to gather her things to come over. I reached for the phone as Leighton started setting up the birthing tub. 

Me: "I just want to know what I can do to make them stop."

Midwife: "There's nothing you can do. You know your history. (I had a 90-minute labor and a 46-minute labor; labor as in from my first contraction to baby's first breath.) I'm putting my things in the car right now."

Me: "But I just want it to stop. I'm not ready. I don't have any baby clothes washed. I don't have my towels together. I'm not ready."

Midwife: "The baby's ready though. You need to call your mom and tell her to come over. I'll be there in a few minutes."

my dad giving Tyler his first Chiropractic adjustment

At this point, I wanted to cry, not because of any pain - it still felt like false labor - but because I wasn't prepared. I like to have things in order. I like to be in control. I like to be ready. I was not.

When my midwife got there, she told Leighton to stop setting up the birthing tub and prepare to catch a baby.

Me: "We don't have time for the tub?"

Midwife: "I can check you. If you're dilated more than 5, we don't have time . . . well . . . you're an 8."

Me, crushed: "Can I at least get in the bathtub?" (I really didn't want another bathtub birth, but it was better than delivering in my non-prepared-bed.)

adoring siblings

The next 30 minutes were busy. My mom arrived and got the kids ready for my brother to pick up. Leighton took down the shower doors. I sent everyone around the house to gather the needed supplies. And somewhere during that time, I made my way to the bathtub. As I birthed our baby into the water, Leighton was able to catch him. It was a special moment. Tyler Joseph Leaf was born.

The next 3 hours were a whirlwind of activity: weighing and measuring the baby, washing a load of clothes, taking an herbal bath, sending Leighton to the store to get some things we didn't have, trying to care for this life that entered the world before his mommy was ready.

Alyssa's princess castle cake

The whole family arrived at 7:00 p.m. for a double celebration - for Alyssa's birthday party and for Tyler's birth day. Alyssa opened her presents, was amazed at her cake, and of course, ate pizza. It didn't matter to me that I birthed a baby less than 3 hours before; I wanted to make sure Alyssa still got her special day that she had been looking forward to for weeks. Her baby brother was not replacing it. Instead, he was her special gift.

Because Tyler was born 4 weeks early, there were some initial concerns. He did need a bit of oxygen after birth, and we practiced Kangaroo care a lot the first couple days. He's doing fantastic though! Last week he weighed in at 7 lbs 5 oz. I'm pretty sure it's been the kisses that have ensured his health. After all, he gets at least a thousand of them a day! The other 3 kids absolutely adore him. They are constantly hugging and kissing on him, wanting to hold him, and checking on him while he's sleeping. They run to get me as soon as he makes a peep. Zac tells me every day, "He's so cute!" Jake is convinced that "He's the cutest baby in the world!" And Alyssa acts like she's his mother. Like I said, they absolutely adore him. Zac even gave him his first nickname, Ty Juice (instead of Joseph), and it's stuck with us all.

our family

Little Ty Juice, we love you so much and are glad that you couldn't wait to meet us! We're very grateful for these extra 4 weeks that we get to know you. We thank God for the blessing of you.

Zachary's Birth Story

An era has ended. My baby boy is not a baby anymore. This realization brings tears to my eyes. I know, he's still the same little boy I kissed a million times yesterday. The same one I squeezed over and over. The same one whose love fills my heart. The only thing different is that a full calender year has passed. One year ago, I could not wait for time to pass. Now, I long for it to stand still. 

That Tuesday afternoon, my brother Gary stopped by after work to visit. I had been getting antsy since it was my due date and had no baby yet. When Eileen, my midwife, came for my prenatal appointment, Gary took the kids to McDonald's. The check-up went fine. I was saddened to hear that the baby was still posterior, but was starting to accept it. Still no contractions. Still no labor. Eileen left a jar of cumin on my counter, joking about how it worked to start labor for another lady. 

3:00 p.m. -- As soon as she left, I called Leighton, as I always did, to tell him about the appointment. 

3:16 p.m. -- I began to feel extreme pressure. Crazy pressure. I decided to take a bath. 

3:18 p.m. -- I called Leighton back and told him to come home.

3:21 p.m. -- I called my mom. "No, I don't think I'm in labor. I just need you. Leighton is an hour away." 

3:23 p.m. -- I figured I should probably let Eileen know. "Maybe I'm in labor."

3:35 p.m. -- My mom and Eileen showed up at the same time. Gary came back with the kids.

3:40 p.m. -- My mom wanted to fill up the birthing pool. Nope, no time. 

3:58 p.m. -- Leighton miraculously made it home.  

4:02 p.m. -- Zachary Allan Leaf was born at home in our bathtub. 

So many details fell right into place. God was looking over us that day, just like every day. 

Zachary Allan Leaf

7 lbs. 15 oz. 20 3/4 in.

Nov. 3  4:02 p.m.

2 months

5 months

8 months

10 months

1 year

He came quick and hasn't stopped. He rolled over at 5 weeks, crawled at 5 months, and walked at 9 months. He has to keep up with the other two kids. He loves to laugh and loves to play.  Zac is the sweetest little thing. We are so blessed to have him in our lives. 

The Saga Continues...

So I checked the clock earlier and figured it was another time. It’s Alyssa’s second birthday, to be exact. Hard to believe that two years ago today at 4:46 in the morning a precious little baby girl took her first breath and immediately began tying an unsuspecting father around her itty bitty finger.

THUD! That’s the sound my chest made when Erika woke me to tell me that she needed a towel. Having been beckoned from a dead sleep, I again leapt from the bed. I got the requested towel from the linen closet and chucked it at her. She immediately chucked it back at me and said, “NO, a rag towel, my water broke!” How am I supposed to know that? You woke me up at 3:16 am and asked for a “towel”, so I got a towel. Now that she had her towel I decided to climb back in bed and see if I could get a little more sleep in before I had to set up the pool. (Oh, did I mention we had Alyssa at home, in the living room, in an inflatable pool.) “What are doing?” I was asked. “Going back to sleep.” “Aren’t you going to set up the pool?” “There’s plenty of time.” “Go set up the pool.” At this point there was no arguing. I set out for converting our living room into a homemade birthing room. This consists of a sheet of 3/4" plywood, plastic, inflatable pool, more plastic as a liner, water, and whole bunch of towels, rags, and other miscellaneous little things. While I’m frantically trying to do this, the laboring one is attempting to clean the bathroom. Yes, I said clean the bathroom, and this is only after she had already made the waterbed. She’s in active labor, contractions and everything, and she trying to clean house. Halfway through the bathroom, while already making plans to dust the living/birthing room she finally realizes that she’s progressing a little bit faster than she did with Jake. Mind you she had not had any contractions prior to her water breaking. She decided to sit down in the living, I mean birthing, room and try to stay calm. This baby is obviously coming in less time than it’s predecessor; who, by the way, actually sleeps through the entire birth.

There are so many details that I could throw in here to show just how much more work goes into a home birth, but then I think you might not care to read it all. Just remember that not only do I have to stay with Erika as she is trying to give birth to a baby, I need to set up everything for the birth. It is a very busy time. Shortly after the wake up, phone calls were made and at this point the midwife and both of Erika’s parents were at the house. Eileen, the midwife, tells Erika to get in the 2/3 full tub and prepare to have a baby. “But it’s only been a little over an hour.” “This baby is coming soon!” She wasn’t kidding, the hose was removed from the tub and full out baby birthing went into gear. Ninety minutes after her water broke Erika bestowed upon the water a 6 pound 4 ounce 18 ½ inch whopper that we named Alyssa Mae Leaf.

Then to end the early morning activities, seconds after Alyssa was born Jake emerged from his room and asked a simple question, “Mommy, what ya doin’?” And again our lives were changed forever once more.

So it begins... (or began)

So it begins... each beginning is always different. We all want that story that is more interesting than anyone else could dream up. We seek bragging rights on the best experience, most adventurous travel, or the influential outcome. Well, I don’t break that mold. I like having the best, greatest, and bravest stories out there, so whether you agree with me or not I have the best one. What beginning am I going to tell you about? Well, it’s a parenting blog, so why not about our start as parents.

We had been married for nearly two years when my wife began to realize that she was pregnant. She wasn’t totally sure, she didn’t know exactly how it felt to be pregnant since it was her first time after all. When she finally took the at home test, it was positive. She decided to confuse me to tell me. I came down to the bedroom and there she sat on the bed teary eyed with a bib. She hands me the bib, which says, “I love my Daddy!” All I can do is look at it. I had no idea what this meant. I looked at the bib and then looked at her and back to the bib again. This whole time with a puzzled stare on my face. She began to look somewhat amazed at my stupidity or shallow mindedness or something. After a long moment it clicked and she didn’t have to tell me. A look of shock, awe, joy, and amazement came across my face and I got all excited. It really wasn’t until the baby came that the reality of being a parent sank in.

It was just after one in the morning when Erika, my wife, woke me with the news that she needed to go to the hospital, it was time. All the excitement and adrenaline came rushing into me at once. I leaped from the bed and began to get dressed throwing everything together to go to the hospital the whole time being told to slow down, we didn’t need to be in a rush just yet. I didn’t care, I was getting antsy for my baby to come and now it was just moments away. If I didn’t hurry and get her to the hospital then the baby was gonna take longer to come, we had to hurry. After making sure we had all we needed, alerting her parents of the soon coming grandchild, and informing the officer of my reason for doing ten over we finally made to the maternity ward and began the wait. We argued with nurses and doctors over this and that and its necessity and we waited.  Five whole hours we waited until finally at 7:14 am Jacob Michael Leaf was born. Weighing in at an amazing, whopping six pounds eight ounces and measuring twenty inches long, he came over two weeks early on December 1, 2005. He came and immediately began wreaking havoc pulling off all the monitors the nurses put on him in the ICU, and he continues today to wreak havoc at home. Nearly sending his mother insane some days, although he seems to do a little better than his sister any more. Her birth is a story of its own, but that will be another time.

Obviously I left out details, but this is how we first became the parents of a highly active child and began Raising Leafs. There is nothing you can say to convince me that my start to parenting is anywhere less interesting than yours.