Here's the second part of the funnies from this year. Enjoy!
MAY
Jake singing: "Oh, what a beautiful morning. Oh, what a beautiful day. I got a beautiful feeling, every time I get my way!"
Alyssa said, "Jacob, you are my best friend, and I love you."
Jake said, "Hey, I have a secret for you." I leaned down so he could whisper in my ear, but instead he kissed me on the cheek.
Jake: :Do you remember something I don't?"
Me: "Yes, I remember the day you were born. Do you?"
Jake: "No. Was it the 1930's?"
Jake asked, "Mommy, do you mind if I test your brain to see if I need to take it out?"
JUNE
Jake: "I wish we could go home."
Me: "We are home."
Jake: "No, I wish we could go to our other home."
Me: "Our other home where?
I had to take Alyssa into a public restroom while were were out. As soon as we walked in, she said, "This bathroom is smelly . . . We can put our shoes on the floor, but not our nakey feet.
I found a blog that was filled with amazing sweets recipes. As I was oohing and aahing over all the cakes, Jake said, "Yeah, they have a lot of cakes, but I'm not impressed."
Alyssa said, "I don't want to smell like a dinosaur."
When we got home after a bike ride, I asked Jake to pull out the hose and water the garden. A minute later I notice that Alyssa was soaking wet. When I asked why, she replied, "Jake watered me."
Alyssa said, "When I grow up, I want to be a birdie."
The kids know that they can't come into the house if they're dripping wet. Jake stopped at the door, looked down, and said, "Nope, not leaking."
Jake said, "I raced myself there and won."
Jake told me "I don't love anyone as much as I love you."
JULY
Jake was looking out the window at an eery-looking yellowish-orange sky and said, "Something's fishy here. I think it must be a huge Bat Signal for giants.
Jake told Alyssa, "Take off your shoes if you're going to keep kicking me."
Alyssa said, "I practiced not eating little LEGOs 'cause I'm not a baby anymore."
Jake: "You're supposed to close your eyes when you pray."
Alyssa: "I don't know how."
Jake: "You have these things that shut your eyes off."
Jake singing, "I will cling to the old rugged cross and exchange it some day for a car."
AUGUST
Jake asked, "Do you realize that I sound like a girl sometimes when I yell?"
Jake said, "English muffins? What? Muffins don't speak English!"
Jake and Alyssa pointed out the really fancy ice cream truck (aka Schwan's.)
While reading one of the Berestain Bears books, Too Much Birthday, Jake argued with the authors:
I was trying to explain to Alyssa and Zachary that Jake had a stomach bug and didn't want them climbing all over him. Alyssa asked, "Is it like a crawly bug? Did it climb into his mouth and crawl down his throat into his belly?"
While Jake was cleaning his room: "This room is going to be as clean as an apple!"
Jake told Alyssa, while playing with his Trio Batcave, “I don't want to play Robin. He's just a young kid.”
MAY
Jake singing: "Oh, what a beautiful morning. Oh, what a beautiful day. I got a beautiful feeling, every time I get my way!"
Alyssa said, "Jacob, you are my best friend, and I love you."
Jake said, "Hey, I have a secret for you." I leaned down so he could whisper in my ear, but instead he kissed me on the cheek.
Jake: :Do you remember something I don't?"
Me: "Yes, I remember the day you were born. Do you?"
Jake: "No. Was it the 1930's?"
Jake asked, "Mommy, do you mind if I test your brain to see if I need to take it out?"
JUNE
Jake: "I wish we could go home."
Me: "We are home."
Jake: "No, I wish we could go to our other home."
Me: "Our other home where?
I had to take Alyssa into a public restroom while were were out. As soon as we walked in, she said, "This bathroom is smelly . . . We can put our shoes on the floor, but not our nakey feet.
I found a blog that was filled with amazing sweets recipes. As I was oohing and aahing over all the cakes, Jake said, "Yeah, they have a lot of cakes, but I'm not impressed."
Alyssa said, "I don't want to smell like a dinosaur."
When we got home after a bike ride, I asked Jake to pull out the hose and water the garden. A minute later I notice that Alyssa was soaking wet. When I asked why, she replied, "Jake watered me."
Alyssa said, "When I grow up, I want to be a birdie."
The kids know that they can't come into the house if they're dripping wet. Jake stopped at the door, looked down, and said, "Nope, not leaking."
Jake said, "I raced myself there and won."
Jake told me "I don't love anyone as much as I love you."
JULY
Jake was looking out the window at an eery-looking yellowish-orange sky and said, "Something's fishy here. I think it must be a huge Bat Signal for giants.
Jake told Alyssa, "Take off your shoes if you're going to keep kicking me."
Alyssa said, "I practiced not eating little LEGOs 'cause I'm not a baby anymore."
Jake: "You're supposed to close your eyes when you pray."
Alyssa: "I don't know how."
Jake: "You have these things that shut your eyes off."
Jake singing, "I will cling to the old rugged cross and exchange it some day for a car."
AUGUST
Jake asked, "Do you realize that I sound like a girl sometimes when I yell?"
Jake said, "English muffins? What? Muffins don't speak English!"
Jake and Alyssa pointed out the really fancy ice cream truck (aka Schwan's.)
While reading one of the Berestain Bears books, Too Much Birthday, Jake argued with the authors:
Book: "Papa felled the tree."
Jake: "You mean the tree fell."
Me: "No, Papa felled the tree."
Jake: "No, it's the tree fell."
Me: Fell can be a different kind of verb, too.
Jake: {Looks at me in disbelief as I continued with the story.}I was trying to explain to Alyssa and Zachary that Jake had a stomach bug and didn't want them climbing all over him. Alyssa asked, "Is it like a crawly bug? Did it climb into his mouth and crawl down his throat into his belly?"
While Jake was cleaning his room: "This room is going to be as clean as an apple!"
Jake told Alyssa, while playing with his Trio Batcave, “I don't want to play Robin. He's just a young kid.”
Jake was eating a huge dill pickle and said, "It's pickly enough to pickle out my appetite."
** Check back soon for Part Seven of Kids Say the Funniest Things! **
Want to read previous funny things?
Kids Say the Funniest Things: Part Four (quotes from my first grade students)
Kids Say the Funniest Things: Part Five
Kids Say the Funniest Things: Part Five
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