Sunday, January 1, 2012

Kida Say the Funniest Things: Part 7

On this first day of 2012, we finish up our reflection of the humorous things my 6, 3, & 2 years olds have said this year.  I look forward to many, many funny things they'll say over the next 12 months!

Alyssa, in her best whiny voice: "Jakey was hitting me."
Me: "Why was he hitting you?"
Alyssa, still whining: "Because I was hitting him."

Me: "Jacob, are you being a brat?"
Jake: "Weellllllll . . . a little."

Jake made up his own joke - Q: What do trains' pants say? A: Toot-toot!

Jake told Zac, "I'm old enough to shoot an apple off your head."

Alyssa told me, "I can say 'thank you' in Spanish." She scrunched up her face and said in a  high-pitched silly voice, "Thank you!" 

Alyssa said, "Whenever I see flowers that are ripe, I pick them for you."

We had just made cherry Kool-Aid, and Jake asked, "Is it wild cherry? 'Cause it tastes wild."

Alyssa put on her dress for church backwards. When I told her to turn it around, that the bow went in the back, she was very distraught. After she turned it around, she said with her head down and barely a whisper, "Mommy . . . I'm heartbroken."

Jake said, "Good thing it's a bungee cord. It bunges."

Jake went running through the house and slid across the carpet on his knees. I told him to be careful, that he was going to get holes in his knees. He looked at me funny. After further explanation, he said, "Oh, I thought you meant holes in my real knees."

Alyssa said, "I don't like boys. They're mean. I only like Daddy."

Jake: "Mommy, what's a hippie?"
Alyssa: "A potamus."
Jake: "A hippiepotamus? Hahahaha!"

Alyssa: "You're wearing earrings."
Me: "Yes, I am."
Alyssa: "Do you have holes in your ears?"
Me: "Yes."
Alyssa: "Huh? How did that happen?!?"

Alyssa was hitting herself in the head with her hand. When I asked why, she said, "I'm trying to get the blood out."

Jake, while praying, ". . . and thank you for giving me a good imagination to build things."

Jake asked, "Was it in the 1950's when there were pirates?  . . . Or was it when Jesus was born?"

Alyssa: "What's in my ear?"
Me: "Your finger?"
Alyssa: "No." Me: "Earwax?" 
Alyssa: "No. Seeds. But they don't grow into lots of ears. They just grow into one ear."

Alyssa, pointing to the nativity scene at church, said, "Look! It's baby Moses." 

Jake said, "I know why we can't fly - we don't have feathers." 

Zac: "Monster out dere!" 
Alyssa: "There's no monster out there; it's light out."
Jake: "Yeah, everybody knows that monsters only come out at night."

Jake said, "I can't wait for my adult teeth to grow up."

Jake said, "Band-aids don't taste good even with cinnamon on them."  

Jake: "Daddy's not going to have a baby."
Me: "Well, this baby (pointing to my belly) is still his baby."
Jake: "Yeah, but he's not going to lay it like you are."

Alyssa: "Are we taking the wagon?"
Me: "No, just the stroller."
Alyssa: "The two-headed one?" (double stroller)
The kids were showing me something that was supposed to make you "laugh your head off." I laughed, but apparently not to their liking. Alyssa told me, "You'll have to try harder, Mommy."

Jake said, "I'm so tired I would fall right asleep in a fight with Frankenstein."   

Out of nowhere, Alyssa told me "I'm never going to flush myself down the toilet."

Alyssa: "My favorite color is chocolate."

Alyssa whining: "I don't like these shoes."
Me: "Why not?"
Alyssa: "Because they hurt."
Me: "How do they hurt?"
Alyssa: "They hurt my feelings. I don't like black."

Jake: "When the chicken's done, may I have a leg please?  A chicken leg; not your leg."
Alyssa: "I want the head!"

Alyssa said, "I want no hair and to be bald so I can put a pencil behind my ear."

Jake put his hand on my belly to feel the baby moving, but I told him the baby was sleeping. Alyssa asked, "Oh, does it have a blanket in your tummy?" Jake answered, "Yeah, it uses a slice of cheese!" 

Jake said, "Mommy, whenever I forget what I was going to tell you, I just say 'I love you' instead."  

We were looking at a store ad. Jake saw a picture of a baby and asked, "Is our baby going to look like that?"
Me: "If it does, Mommy's going to be in trouble with Daddy."
Jake: "Why?"
Me: "Because Daddy will wonder why the baby is black."
Alyssa: "I don't want a black baby. I want a blue baby!"

Alyssa said, "When I grow up, I want to be a fish."

Alyssa said, "I was a princess once. A long, long time ago."

Alyssa, while driving at night asked "Are we on planet Darkness?"

Alyssa: Mommy, you have 2 wallets?!?
Me: "Yes." (I have a separate zippered wallet that holds store loyalty cards, gift cards, etc.)
Jake: "Yeah, that's because she has so much money it won't all fit in one."

"Come see! Come see!" Zac very excitedly called me over to the front window. "Wook it," he declared as he pointed to the snow-covered grass. "Mess!"

Jake called out, "I'm ready!" as he stood by the front door. Next, I heard, "Well, this is awkward . . . I'm wearing the wrong clothes." I looked over to see him still in his pajamas

Alyssa pointed to the size 3 on the tag of her dress and asked, "Is this how old it is?"

Jake told me, "Zachy has my tape measurer and he's squirting it all out!"

Jake, my tiny 40-pound 6-year-old, asked, "Can I be a sumo wrestler when I grow up?" . . . And  2 minutes later, he asked, "Can I be a cyclops when I grow up?"

Jake: "I can't wait til I grow up and have kids."
Me: "Why's that?"
Jake: "'Cause I won't have to take care of them, but I'll still get to see them 'cause I'll love them."
Me: "Since you'll be the daddy, you won't have to take care of them?"
Jake: "Yeah. My wife will. I'll just go to work. I still don't know who I'm going to marry though."

Me to Zac: "You have the cutest little face."
Zac, very adamantly: "No! Lyssa do!" 

Jake (6 yr) said to Zac (2 yr), "Hey, why don't you pick on someone your own size!"

Now that I've been keeping a better log of the things the kids say and do in my Friday posts Things That Make Me Smile, these last few months seem to have more quotes. I didn't even use them all since it was getting too long! These precious children make us laugh and bring much joy to our lives. It's exciting to think that with it, 2012 will bring another beautiful addition to our family. 
Happy New Year! Enjoy it with those you love!

Want to read previous funny things?

Kids Say the Funniest Things: Part Six

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  1. It's still true, Kids Say the Darndest Things. My mom keeps a list of my son's best lines.