Kids Say the Funniest Things: Part 10

Here is the final list of Kids Say the Funniest Things from 2012! Thank you for walking down Memory Lane with me.

Jake 6, Alyssa 4, Zac 2, Tyler newborn

SEPTEMBER
Alyssa: "I know everything about getting married."
Me: "You do? Can you tell me about it?"
Alyssa: "You have to wear a white dress. And you have to have flowers. And you need someone to marry. And you need music . . . Oh, and you need a wedding hat! I forgot about that." 

Zac: "When I close my eyes, I see people. They're in my eyeballs. They're walking around in my eyeballs."

Leighton: "They're in your dreams."
Zac: "Yeah, but they're walking around in my eyeballs." 

Alyssa, while praying: ". . . the end." 

Jake: "You mean amen."
Alyssa: "Right. Amen." 

Jake, after listening to a description in a book: "Ok, I pictured it. In black and white, too. I can also do it in movie and cartoon." 

Zac: "May I have more cheese?"

Me: "More cheese?"
Zac: "Yes. I have the power to eat a lot. And to be the fasterest." 

Alyssa: "Usually if I'm watching a movie and the disc freezes, I just smack my head and it works."

Zac: "Where are my big Legos?"

Me, pointing to the middle of the room: "Right there."
Zac: "That's a good hiding place!"

Jake, about Tyler: "He's an expert at making slobber bubbles."

Zac: "There's a bug on the cushion!"

My Mom: "That's ok, just brush it off."
Zac, takes off running and returns a couple minutes later: "I can't find a brush anywhere."
 

Alyssa: "I'm sillier than I thought I would be."

Jake, commanding: "Stop chewing with food in your mouth, Alyssa."

Me: "Zac, don't pick your nose."

Zac: "But I'm trying to get that thing that's up there."

    

OCTOBER

Jake: "My nose tells me what's for dinner."

Zac, coming in my room in the middle of the night: "Why aren't you on your bicle (bicycle)?"

Me: "Because I'm sleeping."
Zac: "Oh. And they're aren't aliens in your room either!"

Zac: "Tyler bless you-ed in my face."

Alyssa, wearing big fuzzy earmuffs in the house: "I'm wearing these just in case Tyler cries a lot." 

Zac: "Can you take your scarecrow and put him downstairs so we don't see him?"

Me: "But he's my friend."

Zac: "He can be your friend downstairs." 

Me: "Are you sure you're done? I can't take you potty every 5 seconds."
Zac, innocently: "How about 4 seconds?"

Zac, stepping on a scale: "Six! Yes! I did it!"

Me: "Good job! {looking at the scale} Twenty-nine."
Zac: "Why twenty-nine?"
Me: "Because that's how much you weigh?"
Zac, pressing on the scale: "Mommy, how do I get it to the top? {talks to scale} You, bully! Go to the top!"
 

Jake, looking at Lego sets: "This set comes with Hansel."
Me: "It's Han Solo."
Jake: "Why is he solo? He has Chewbacca."

Alyssa: "I'm a better sister than Jacob." 

Jake: "This tag says that I have waterproof boots."
Alyssa: "Jacob, you are one lucky boy!"
Jake: "Do you know what waterproof means?"
Alyssa: "No."

Alyssa: "I know a karate move. If someone tries to hit you, you just try getting away."

Zac, about Tyler: "Is he pretty?"
Alyssa: "He's gorgeous. That's a fancier word for pretty."
Zac: "Yeah, he's gorgeous."


NOVEMBER

Me: "When was the last time you had it?"
Alyssa: "Well, I didn't have it the day after yesterday."

Alyssa: "Do mommy cats lay eggs?"
Me: "No."
Alyssa: "Oh, they just lay babies?"

Zac: "I don't like water. It's fake."

Zac was sitting on my lap while I was looking at things on the computer. As I closed one tab to go to another, he said, "Hey! I was 'bout to read dat!"

Alyssa: "I am the queen of dumping toys out."
Zac: "No, I am the queen."

Alyssa was helping me give Tyler a bath in his tub in the sink when he started peeing. It shot up in the air and across the room like a fountain. Alyssa's eyes got big and she said, "Whoa! That was awesome!"

Jake: "How do you say taco in Spanish?"

Zac, wearing Leighton's shoes: "Look, I'm Mr. Daddy."

Alyssa picked up a piece of foam pretend wood and said, "This is so arbitrary." 
  

Jake, to Tyler: "You're my favorite boy. For now at least."

Jake: "I know why Jesus likes people being right-handed, because you're supposed to do the right things."

Me: "I need to sweep again. I already swept once, but baby Tyler made a mess everywhere."
Alyssa, looking around, finally pointing: "He didn't make a mess there."

Me: "Do you know how much I love you?"

Zac: "Big."

Me: "That's right, big. How much do you love me?"

Zac: "Bigger!"

Alyssa: "Baby talk for saying yes is gla."

Me: "Go get dressed so we can go to the library."
Alyssa: "I better not wear squeaky shoes 'cause you have to be quiet in the library."
  

Alyssa: "This is California. We all live in California." {puts her hand to the side of her mouth and whispers} "I'm just pretending. This is just a game. I know, we actually live in Earth, but I'm pretending it's California."

Jake: "Did Grandma like that when she was a kid?"

Alyssa: "Grandma was never a kid." 

DECEMBER

Me, reading a book title: "The Ultimate Natural Detox Guide." 

Jake: "Mmm, that sounds good."

While playing hide-n-seek:

Jake, standing at the top of the stairs: "Hey, are you down there?"
Zac, standing behind the door at the top the stairs: "Yes!" 
 

I was making breakfast and dropped some food on the floor. Alyssa said, "That's ok. Tyler will get it." 

Alyssa: "I know how to spell Erika: M - O - M."
  

Jake: "When can you buy toothpaste for me that tastes like meat?"

Me: "Who ate something minty?"
Alyssa: "Not me."
Zac: "Not me"
Me, sniffing: "I smell something minty. Who ate something?"
Kids: "Not me."
Me, sniffing Zac's mouth: "You smell minty. What did you eat?"
Zac: "It's chastick."
Me: "Ohhh, you put on chapstick."
Zac: "Yeah. And it didn't taste good when I ate it."

 

Alyssa: "Do you remember my husband's name?"
Jake: "No."
Alyssa: "Hmm, I don't quite remember either."  

  

Alyssa: "I did it on accident or on purpose. I don't remember which one."

Jake: "I got a lot of reasons, but I'll only tell you one because I don't know the rest."

Zac, while watching our neighbor's snow blower: "It's a snow sprinkler!"

Alyssa: "I'm never going to do that. Not in my whooole life. Not until I turn 6."

And that's the end of review for 2012! I'll share some of my favorite from 2013 soon, but if you're looking for more funny now, check out parts 1-9 of Kids Say the Funniest Things.

Kids Say the Funniest Things: Part One 
Kids Say the Funniest Things: Part Two
Kids Say the Funniest Things: Part Three 
Kids Say the Funniest Things: Part Four (quotes from my first grade students)
Kids Say the Funniest Things: Part Five
Kids Say the Funniest Things: Part Six
Kids Say the Funniest Things: Part Seven
Kids Say the Funniest Things: Part Eight  

Kids Say the Funniest Things: Part Nine

 

Things That Make Me Smile 4/20/12

Happy Friday! I hope you had a great week. We've been busy, busy. It's finally starting to get warmer again here, yea! We were able to do some yard work and clean up the front flower bed. I haven't even starting on our garden yet though! Jake has started soccer again, so that's takes up a couple evenings a week. Also, because the weather's getting nicer, the construction/demolition work increases and Leighton works crazy hours. Our life is always busy, never stopping, never a dull moment. Life is good.

1. Zac was complaining about something. My dad started pretend crying in response. Zac told him, "You don't whine! I whining."

2. Jake has a little LEGO minifigure that looks like one of the Queen's guards. You know, those guys that stand outside Buckingham palace and have to remain solemn no matter what. Jake was making silly faces and funny sounds at the LEGO guy, pretending to try to get him to smile. It was so, so funny!

3. Zac kissed Tyler on the lips and got a little baby slobber in return. He wiped his nose over and over again. "Ewe! Something ewe on my nose."

4. Zac was cuddling next to me as I was holding Tyler. Alyssa came over to kiss the baby. Zac was not happy about sharing him. "You don't kiss my widdle baby!"

5.Zac asked me to get him something.

Me: "I can't right now. I'm feeding the baby."

Zac: "You need put him 'way!"

6. Alyssa: "My hair tastes like cotton candy when I suck on it . . .  I don't want it to taste like cotton candy. I want it to taste like hair."

7. I was in the basement and called to Leighton, "Hey, Honey?" He and Zac both responded, "What?" I called back, "Big Honey." Jake came running to the stairs, "What?"

8. Alyssa: "I spy something . . . cute!

Me: "Tyler?"

Alyssa: "Yep!"

9. Jake: "What's 10 minus 100?"
Me: "Negative 90"
Jake: "Hehehe. Good one, Mom." 

 

10. I walked into my room to find Zac standing on the rungs of the crib. He was shaking Tyler's hand and saying, "Nice to meet you."

What made you smile this week?

Happy Birthday, America!

I'm sure everyone is enjoying the celebration of the birth of our country with their families. Our ribs are on the grill, homemade potato salad is in the fridge, and the kids are playing in the yard. Later tonight, we'll head out to the festivities with family. I thank God for allowing me to be born in the great country of America! May we never forget the principles we were founded on.

"It cannot be emphasized too strongly or too often that this great nation was founded, not by religionists, but by Christians, not on religions, but on the Gospel of Jesus Christ! For this very reason peoples of other faiths have been afforded asylum, prosperity, and freedom of worship here." - Patrick Henry

"The reason that Christianity is the best friend of government is because Christianity is the only religion that changes the heart." - Thomas Jefferson

"It is impossible to rightly govern the world without God and the Bible." - George Washington

"Whereas it is the duty of all Nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey His will, to be grateful for His benefits, and humbly to implore His protection and favor." - George Washington

"The Bible is the rock upon which this Republic stands." - Andrew Jackson

"I believe the Bible is the best gift God has ever given to man. All the good from the Savior of the world is communicated to us through this book." - Abraham Lincoln

"America was born a Christian nation. America was born to exemplify that devotion to the elements of righteousness, which are derived from the revelations of Holy Scriptures. ...Part of the destiny of Americans lies in their daily perusal of this great book of revelations. That if they would see America free and pure they will make their own spirits free and pure by this baptism of the Holy Spirit." - Woodrow Wilson 

"The fundamental basis of this nation's law was given to Moses on the Mount. The fundamental basis of our Bill of Rights comes from the teaching we get from Exodus and St. Matthew, from Isaiah and St. Paul." - Harry S. Truman

"The future and success of America is not in this Constitution but in the laws of God upon which this Constitution is founded." - James Madison

Let's get back to our roots and continue to see the blessings of God. Happy Birthday, America!