Thursday, January 1, 2015

Kids Say the Funniest Things: Part 11

Happy New Year! Things That Make Me Smile is my favorite part of having a blog. We've done many different kinds of posts over the years, but as we've gotten busier, the posts have been fewer. Except our weekly Smiles. Those I make sure to record week after week. If you're not familiar with our Smiles, let me explain. Every week, I post funny, cute, or memorable quotes and experiences of our kids. Children grow so fast, and so much happens in a day, that it's easy to forget and even overlook things. Our Smiles has helped me to pay closer attention my little ones, to be more in the moments, to savor the memories. I love looking back through the posts and reminiscing about all the good times. At the end of every year, I write a list of some of my favorites. Thus, Kids Say the Funniest Things was born.

I'm actually a year behind (you can read why here). I meant to get caught up, but, you know, life happens. Here are some of my favorite memories from the beginning of 2013. I hope you enjoy Smiling with me.

These were the kids ages at the time recorded: Jake 7, Alyssa 4½, Zac 3, Tyler 10-12 months.

My mom was cutting out pictures so Alyssa could make a  book. Alyssa told her, "Grandma, if that's too hard, I'll do it instead. I know that's a lot of work."

While out to eat, Zac ordered fish for lunch. He was confused when it was brought to the table though.
Zac: "What's that?"
Uncle Gary: "That's your fish."
Zac: "No it's not!"
Uncle Gary: "Yes, it is."
Zac: "Why isn't it swimming?"
Alyssa: "I only know 3 things about Jesus: that He died on the cross for our sins, He rose again, and He loves people."  

Zac: "May I have a piece of candy?"
Me: "Yes."
Zac, giving me a big hug: "You are a sweetheart."
Zac, smelling my perfume: "Mmm, that smells soft."
Tyler's first bath in over a month, after getting his PICC line removed.
Listening to Jake argue with Alyssa that strawberry milk is better for you than chocolate milk because it has strawberries in it.
Jake: "I love you."
Me: "I love you, too."
Zac: No, you don't lub her! I lub her!"
Zac, about a cardinal in the backyard: "He has a black face."
My Mom: "Yes, it's like he has on a mask."
Zac: "Yeah, he's a super hero!" 

Jake: "And then we can eat the rat."
Me: "Yuck! We don't eat rats."
Jake: "Yum! They're meat."
Alyssa, to Tyler who was barely fussing: "Ok, you already screamed my eardrums outs."

Zac: "I can't breathe, my nose is too big."
Zac: "Can I have a chicken leg?"
Leighton: "That's going to be kinda hard."
Zac: "But can I have a chicken leg?"
Leighton: "We don't have any chicken legs."
Zac, pointing to the turkey on the table: "Can I have one of those pretend legs?"
Zac, while putting together a train set: "Mommy, this track won't listen to me!"
Jake, giving Tyler a kiss: "Mmm, you taste delicious."  

Alyssa, dreamily: "Every time I see Tyler, it's like a dream come true."  
Zac, after jumping off the couch: "I was flying like a butterfly!"
Jake: "What do you call a hippo with the hiccups? . . . A hiccupotamus!"
Jake: "Mom, can you make my sandwich?"
Me: "Why can't you make it yourself?"
Jake: "Because you put love in it, and it tastes so much better than when I make it. I don't know how to put love in it."
Me: "What would you like to drink?"
Zac: "Can I have some alligator?"
Me: "Some what?"
Zac: "Alligator."
Me, confused: "What? . . . Oh, Gatorade?"  

Zac: "This banana taste like zebra."
Me, chuckling: "Like zebra? Wow."
Zac: "Yeah."
Two minutes later . . .
Me, noticing the banana was speckled: "Oh, it tastes like zebra because of the spots? You mean like a leopard."
Zac: "Yeah!"
Zac: "My finger hurts."
I gently held his hand and sweetly kissed his tiny boo-boo.
Zac, looked at his hand, looked back at me, shocked: "It still hurts."   

Jake: "Mooom! Alyssa's being mean!"
Me: "Alyssa, what's the problem?"
Alyssa, scowling: "I'm mad because Jake called me fish-face more times than I called him!" 
Jake: "What?!? Some people eat snails? Who would do that??? . . . I know, 1) people who don't have any money . . . "
Alyssa: "2) the devil."
Jake, while doing (homeschool) schoolwork: "Ugh, I should've stayed home today . . ."
Jake: "I think I want to be a police officer when I grow up just to get the doughnuts . . . And maybe I'll get to kick down a door."
Zac, while hugging Tyler: "Can I keep him forever?"
Zac to Alyssa because her bedroom light was left on: "The batteries are gonna die in your room."
Zac: "Do you smell that sound?"

Leighton: "Where's Tyler?"
Zac: "In my room."
Leighton: "What's he doing?"
Zac: "Eating the pages off my books."
Zac, incredulous: "Are you serious-ing me?"
Alyssa: "If you dream in color, then it's real."
Zac, before dinner: "Can I have some cereal, please?"
Me: "No."
Zac, fake crying: "But can I have some cereal, pleeeaase?"
Me: "No."
Zac, sweetly: "How about may I? May I have some cereal, please?"
Me: "You're such a blonde."
Alyssa: "No, I'm not. I can see fine."
Me: "No, honey. That's blind."
Me, surprised: "Alyssa, your room is a disaster!"
Alyssa: "I know. And thank you!"
Me: "Ugh, why didn't this print properly?"
Jake: "You need to show it who's boss. And who is the boss?"
Zac: "Daddy!"
Zac: "That tastes like yellow." 

Jake, while washing dishes, holding the cookie scoop: "Hey, I know how this works. This part moves like this. And then this part . . ." {goes on to explain the whole process}
Alyssa: "Just wash it already." 
Me: "Why don't you go get a kleenex?"
Zac: "I'm pretending my hand is a kleenex."

Alyssa: "Mom, Zac jumped on me!"
Zac: "No, it wasn't me. It was Alyssa!"
Me: "Alyssa jumped on herself?"
Zac: "Yes!"
Me: "I am not happy that you put a hole in Alyssa's tent."
Zac, whining: "But I love you."
Me: "I love you too, but I'm not very happy with you right now."
Zac, whining: "Oh, I'm so sad that you're not happy."
Zac: "That sounds bumpy."
Me: "Did anyone notice if our strawberries are starting to come up yet?"
Jake, running to grab his coat: "Strawberries? Let's go check! . . . Wait a minute. Are you just trying to get us to go outside?"
Alyssa: "What smells so crunchy?"
Me: "Zac, will you close that cupboard, please?"
Zac: "Yes, boss."
Tyler got himself  stuck between the end table and the couch. And played that way until he eventually slipped down.
Zac, holding a die upside down from Boggle: "What letter is this?"
Me: "E."
Zac: "Nope, you're wrong. It's a 3."  

Zac, sad because Jake pushed him down: "Mom, he broke my heart."
Jake: "We've had that since I was a baby. It's an antique!"
Me, about a Lego creation: "Wow, how did you make that so fast?"
Alyssa: "Oh, it's because Zac barely bothered me." 

Jake: "What's better than strawberries and caramel?"
Me: "Strawberries and chocolate?"
Jake: "Nope."
Me: "Apples and caramel?"
Jake: "Nope."
Me: "Nothing?"
Jake: "No. A kiss from your mom!"
Me: "Finish your breakfast."
Zac: "I don't like eggs."
Me: "Yes, you do!"
Zac: "No, I don't. They're yellow and that's not my favorite color."  

Thanks for remembering the Smiles with me!  The middles months of 2013 will be posted soon. Until then, if you'd like to read some more funny kid quotes, be sure to check out prior years of Kids Say the Funniest Things.

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