Thursday, January 9, 2014

Kids Say the Funniest Things: Part 10

Here is the final list of Kids Say the Funniest Things from 2012! Thank you for walking down Memory Lane with me.

Jake 6, Alyssa 4, Zac 2, Tyler newborn

Alyssa: "I know everything about getting married."
Me: "You do? Can you tell me about it?"
Alyssa: "You have to wear a white dress. And you have to have flowers. And you need someone to marry. And you need music . . . Oh, and you need a wedding hat! I forgot about that." 

Zac: "When I close my eyes, I see people. They're in my eyeballs. They're walking around in my eyeballs."
Leighton: "They're in your dreams."
Zac: "Yeah, but they're walking around in my eyeballs." 

Alyssa, while praying: ". . . the end." 
Jake: "You mean amen."
Alyssa: "Right. Amen." 

Jake, after listening to a description in a book: "Ok, I pictured it. In black and white, too. I can also do it in movie and cartoon." 

Zac: "May I have more cheese?"
Me: "More cheese?"
Zac: "Yes. I have the power to eat a lot. And to be the fasterest." 

Alyssa: "Usually if I'm watching a movie and the disc freezes, I just smack my head and it works."

Zac: "Where are my big Legos?"
Me, pointing to the middle of the room: "Right there."
Zac: "That's a good hiding place!"

Jake, about Tyler: "He's an expert at making slobber bubbles."

Zac: "There's a bug on the cushion!"
My Mom: "That's ok, just brush it off."
Zac, takes off running and returns a couple minutes later: "I can't find a brush anywhere."
Alyssa: "I'm sillier than I thought I would be."

Jake, commanding: "Stop chewing with food in your mouth, Alyssa."

Me: "Zac, don't pick your nose."
Zac: "But I'm trying to get that thing that's up there."
Jake: "My nose tells me what's for dinner."

Zac, coming in my room in the middle of the night: "Why aren't you on your bicle (bicycle)?"
Me: "Because I'm sleeping."
Zac: "Oh. And they're aren't aliens in your room either!"

Zac: "Tyler bless you-ed in my face."

Alyssa, wearing big fuzzy earmuffs in the house: "I'm wearing these just in case Tyler cries a lot." 

Zac: "Can you take your scarecrow and put him downstairs so we don't see him?"
Me: "But he's my friend."
Zac: "He can be your friend downstairs." 

Me: "Are you sure you're done? I can't take you potty every 5 seconds."
Zac, innocently: "How about 4 seconds?"

Zac, stepping on a scale: "Six! Yes! I did it!"
Me: "Good job! {looking at the scale} Twenty-nine."
Zac: "Why twenty-nine?"
Me: "Because that's how much you weigh?"
Zac, pressing on the scale: "Mommy, how do I get it to the top? {talks to scale} You, bully! Go to the top!"
Jake, looking at Lego sets: "This set comes with Hansel."
Me: "It's Han Solo."
Jake: "Why is he solo? He has Chewbacca."

Alyssa: "I'm a better sister than Jacob." 

Jake: "This tag says that I have waterproof boots."
Alyssa: "Jacob, you are one lucky boy!"
Jake: "Do you know what waterproof means?"
Alyssa: "No."

Alyssa: "I know a karate move. If someone tries to hit you, you just try getting away."

Zac, about Tyler: "Is he pretty?"
Alyssa: "He's gorgeous. That's a fancier word for pretty."
Zac: "Yeah, he's gorgeous."

Me: "When was the last time you had it?"
Alyssa: "Well, I didn't have it the day after yesterday."

Alyssa: "Do mommy cats lay eggs?"
Me: "No."
Alyssa: "Oh, they just lay babies?"

Zac: "I don't like water. It's fake."

Zac was sitting on my lap while I was looking at things on the computer. As I closed one tab to go to another, he said, "Hey! I was 'bout to read dat!"

Alyssa: "I am the queen of dumping toys out."
Zac: "No, I am the queen."

Alyssa was helping me give Tyler a bath in his tub in the sink when he started peeing. It shot up in the air and across the room like a fountain. Alyssa's eyes got big and she said, "Whoa! That was awesome!"

Jake: "How do you say taco in Spanish?"

Zac, wearing Leighton's shoes: "Look, I'm Mr. Daddy."

Alyssa picked up a piece of foam pretend wood and said, "This is so arbitrary." 
Jake, to Tyler: "You're my favorite boy. For now at least."

Jake: "I know why Jesus likes people being right-handed, because you're supposed to do the right things."

Me: "I need to sweep again. I already swept once, but baby Tyler made a mess everywhere."
Alyssa, looking around, finally pointing: "He didn't make a mess there."

Me: "Do you know how much I love you?"
Zac: "Big."
Me: "That's right, big. How much do you love me?"
Zac: "Bigger!"

Alyssa: "Baby talk for saying yes is gla."

Me: "Go get dressed so we can go to the library."
Alyssa: "I better not wear squeaky shoes 'cause you have to be quiet in the library."
Alyssa: "This is California. We all live in California." {puts her hand to the side of her mouth and whispers} "I'm just pretending. This is just a game. I know, we actually live in Earth, but I'm pretending it's California."

Jake: "Did Grandma like that when she was a kid?"
Alyssa: "Grandma was never a kid." 

Me, reading a book title: "The Ultimate Natural Detox Guide.
Jake: "Mmm, that sounds good."

While playing hide-n-seek:

Jake, standing at the top of the stairs: "Hey, are you down there?"
Zac, standing behind the door at the top the stairs: "Yes!" 
I was making breakfast and dropped some food on the floor. Alyssa said, "That's ok. Tyler will get it." 

Alyssa: "I know how to spell Erika: M - O - M."
Jake: "When can you buy toothpaste for me that tastes like meat?"

Me: "Who ate something minty?"
Alyssa: "Not me."
Zac: "Not me"
Me, sniffing: "I smell something minty. Who ate something?"
Kids: "Not me."
Me, sniffing Zac's mouth: "You smell minty. What did you eat?"
Zac: "It's chastick."
Me: "Ohhh, you put on chapstick."
Zac: "Yeah. And it didn't taste good when I ate it."
Alyssa: "Do you remember my husband's name?"
Jake: "No."
Alyssa: "Hmm, I don't quite remember either."  
Alyssa: "I did it on accident or on purpose. I don't remember which one."

Jake: "I got a lot of reasons, but I'll only tell you one because I don't know the rest."

Zac, while watching our neighbor's snow blower: "It's a snow sprinkler!"

Alyssa: "I'm never going to do that. Not in my whooole life. Not until I turn 6."

And that's the end of review for 2012! I'll share some of my favorite from 2013 soon, but if you're looking for more funny now, check out parts 1-9 of Kids Say the Funniest Things.

Pin It

No comments:

Post a Comment