Saturday, January 2, 2016

Kids Say the Funniest Things: Part 13

Happy New Year! I love taking the time at the beginning of a new year to reflect on the past. We recall the precious memories, relive the fun times, and acknowledged the strength we gained through the hard ones. One of my favorite ways to reminisce is by reading the lists of Things That Make Me Smile. This weekly collection is filled with funny, cute, or memorable quotes and experiences of our kids. It's from these lists that I gather a few of my favorites from the year to create Kids Say the Funniest Things. 

Even though I had planned to get caught up, I'm a year behind still (you can read why here). That means that these memories are from 2 years ago, yet some seem like they happened just recently. Oh, how I love these little ones of mine. Here is installment 13 from the beginning of 2014. I hope you enjoy Smiling with me.

These were the kids ages at the time recorded: Jake 8, Alyssa 5½, Zac 4, Tyler 1½.

Zac, when I turned the light on in the morning: "The too bright was trying to burn my eyes." 

Alyssa: "One day, I had a most unusual dream. It was about Alton Brown's cooking show."

Jake, while turning on Disney's Robin Hood: "Remember, it starts not very exciting. Then it gets so exciting that your head pops off."

Jake: "Tyler's so crazy it's like there's a chipmunk running around in his head."

Jake: "Mom, have you unlocked your true potential yet?"  

Jake: "Haven't you heard that old saying, 'If you touch fire, you'll regret it. If you don't regret it, you're toast.'"
Me "And who said that?"
Jake: "Me. I just made it up."

Jake: "You're as old as pineapple, Alyssa."

Alyssa: "I'm never trying milk mixed with water. It probably tastes like compost."
Zac, looking at our Roman numeral clock: "Look, it's V o'clock."

This mud post

Alyssa, because Tyler scribbled on her paper: "Try to show a little more respect."

Alyssa: "I'm very, very, very hot. But I'm also very cold." 

Jake: "I watched an Angry Birds Toons once that was a Halloween one. There was a bird that was dressed up with an axe sticking out of his head."
Me: "Eww, that's morbid."
Jake: "Morbid? Who's he?"

Alyssa: "Mom, I think we have more marbles than you now, because you've been losing yours!"

Jake: "Zachary! Just because you can throw things, doesn't mean you have the freedom to throw them at my Legos."

Zac, sad: "Each of my gloves has only 5 fingers." 

Alyssa: "Jesus can do anything. He could even turn into a fly. But if someone had a fly swatter? . . . He would not want to be a fly."
Alyssa, yelling: "Mom! Can you tell Zac to be quiet?"
Zac, yelling: "I can't hear you! I'm too loud!"

Alyssa: "In Jesus Love the Little Children, when it says 'red and yellow, black and white' who's the 'yellow'?"
Me: "Like Chinese and Japanese people."
Alyssa: "Well, I know who the red are . . . People with sunburns."

Jake, astounded: "Do you know what I heard at church? There used to be this thing called sending letters to people.

Jake: "Zac, stop chewing with your mouth."

Me, giving a clue while playing a guessing game: "It's something I really like."
Alyssa: "Daddy!"

Jake: "Tyler is known for his trouble. Not that many people know him though, so it's ok."  

Zac, after getting out of the bathtub: "My hands are crinkly."

Leighton: "Say I."
Tyler: "I."
Leighton: "Love."
Tyler: "Mommy!"

Zac: "Jake's birthday is first, but I didn't hear it coming." 

Zac: "Mom, were we parents when you were little?"

Zac: "How do you spell peanut butter?"
Me: "P-e-a-n-u-t b-u-t-t-e-r."
Zac, pointing to the jar: "They spelled it wrong. J-I-F."

Alyssa, confidently: "I know what 10 plus 100 is: ten hundred."  

Zac, to Alyssa: "I wish God didn't give you feet to kick me in the head."

Zac: "I think hiccups are scared of water."
Zac: {Achoo} Mom, I almost got you!
Me, teasing: "Oh, no, don't sneeze on me."
Zac: "Yeah, 'cause you're pretty. Why would I sneeze on you when you're pretty?"

Zac, while I was making dinner: "Thank you for making the so best smell in here!" 

Zac, holding the phone to my ear: "Now you have love in your ear!"
Me: "I do? Why?"
Zac: "'Cause I kissed the phone!"

Jake: "I want to play professional Uno."

Jake, proudly: "Mom, I can fit a whole golf ball in my mouth! Wanna see?"

Zac: "May I have a napkin, please?"
Jake: "You have pants for a reason."

Zac: "The sky is black when it's night. That means the sun is turned off at night, right?"

Zac: "I can say one thing in Spanish: ooplo.
Me, humored: "Ooplo? And what does that mean?"
Zac: "I don't know; it's Spanish!"

Jake, showing me the "shorts" he was wearing: "Uh, Mom, I think you put Tyler's pants in my drawer. Haha, these aren't my shorts."
Me, laughing: "No, but they fit pretty good."

Zac: "I want to be a grave digger when I grow up. Then I can get all the worms I want!"  

Alyssa, tattling: "Jake said he hated me!"
Jake, smiling: "Words may be deceiving."

While listing make-believe characters . . .
Jake: "Griffin."
Zac: "Dragon!"
Alyssa: "Unicorn."
Zac: "Two-headed dragon!"
Alyssa: "Pegasus."
Zac: "Three-headed dragon!"
Jake: "Centaur."
Zac: "Four-headed dragon!

Jake, holding a wiggling worm: "Aw, he's so cute!"
and then . . .
"Should I tear him in half so he can be friends with himself?"

Thanks for Smiling with me! Part 14 from the middle of 2014 is coming soon. If you are needing some more laughs before then, check out some of the earlier installments of Kids Say the Funniest Things.

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